I hate it when people force me to do things I don’t want. Like a stranger grabbing me for a hug, or my neighbor playing music so I have to listen. These things bring up the same feeling that other peoples wants are more important than mine.
Nothing is more important in your life than your perspective, your thoughts and your feelings. That is what creates your reality. You choose your perspective. No one else can force it upon you.
When you are faced with the contrast between your own desire and another, there is discord. You want one thing and she wants something else. More specifically they want something from you that you are not wanting to give. How does this relate to going with the flow?
Well, when going with the flow you see all as good and right. There is no resistance. You would laugh at their need for control and their need for you to give to them what you don’t want to give. This is what is important: someone is asking for something from you. Why? Because they believe it will make them feel good. In some cases it is a need for connection, acceptance and love, and in all cases it is a need for control. When you try to take something from another or force your desires on anyone but yourself, you are wanting to control. You desire something that you think you cannot give yourself and so you try to take that from another. You seek to control what is outside of you to fill something inside of you. Never works.
What to do when faced with this? If you try to say no in any way or remove yourself from this situation you are resisting what is in it. If you agree to this because you feel you are being forced to it, you are rejecting your role as prime creator. See the situation for what it is: a co-creation between you the perceived giver and the other the perceived taker. Remember that they can never take anything from you. They may try, and it might feel like you are losing something, but this is an illusion. When using force and control the taking will not feel satisfactory. They will never get what they need. Nothing can be taken from you. Use the opportunity to lean into the discomfort you feel because of your belief of being forced to do something.
Process and evaluate. What did they take? What are you missing now after the incident? One arm less? Did you survive the incident? Are you still complete? How many times must others force you before you realize you have lost nothing? When you understand you have nothing to fear from their need for control, you have gained something from their attempt to take from you. In that lies your win. You can never lose, only gain. You gain understanding and acceptance. You gain tolerance for those that still try to control. You gain understanding of your own limited belief, and by letting go of the belief that you can ever be less because of another, you gain your independence. No one else can make you small. No one else can ever take anything from you. No one else can ever force you to do anything. You can say no, or let them do it, either way it will in no way take anything from you.
If you say no you get to experience the frustration emanating from the other person as you sabotage their attempt of control. You will react to this energy and have to find a way to deal with this, preferably without fear. In many cases doing this will only escalate the others need for control, and you may be faced with an even greater attempt of forcing you to submit. This fight for power can go on forever if you are both stubborn. Realize that backing down is no defeat. Remember that your only way of control is through your creations, not through this attempt of defending yourself against another energy.
Ultimately what you want is to be the tree that bends in the wind, and never breaks. It doesn’t really matter if you say yes or no. All that matters is that you allow what happens to happen without trying to control it. Say yes and see if that feels okay, knowing you can never lose anything, and by saying yes you are going with the flow and allowing what is to simply be. Say no and understand that your way of control is through acceptance of what is and in creation of what will be. You are allowed to say no, this is just another fork of the path you continue to walk down. Yes or no, it doesn’t matter. Either fork of your path will lead you to new adventures and new explorations into your power. There is no right or wrong way to learn.