Ending the relationship?

There is nothing wrong in leaving a marriage, and there is nothing wrong in staying. When you are making decisions for your own life, you need to think about how this will affect you. Not what your kids, or your family, or what your friends think. They have their own lives. Whatever you do will be perfect for them. It may not feel that way in the moment, but ultimately this is a co-creation and every situation is an opportunity for growth. Your kids chose you and their father before birth. You are all in this together, by agreement. As souls they were well aware of what could or would happen. For all you know this break up is a part of their big plan. Or you staying in the marriage is a part of their plan. Either way you cannot know what their paths look like, and you cannot change your path to try to make their lives easier. It is impossible for you to know what is the ideal situation for them, and so all you can do is to act from what is the best life for you. You can only decide for you, and so you must choose based on your desires. Not what society deems as right, and not what your family wants you to do.

So you have limiting beliefs about marriage and breaking a marriage. Whether or not you choose to leave we suggest you work through those beliefs first. A belief is never only about one thing. Your beliefs about marriage will be tied into beliefs about your own worth, beliefs about who you should be as a woman, beliefs about what it means to be good person. It will be beliefs concerning if you are a good person, and if that will change based on what you do. You will have to change the way you see yourself. Your identity is now locked around these beliefs that you have about you, and how you fit into society and the beliefs of others. You need to process these beliefs that you have about yourself before you make the choice about your marriage. Once you have processed these limitations you have place upon yourself, you may very well see your marriage in a different light.

The relationship you have with this man is not what is holding you back. Your beliefs about yourself is. You can live your purpose regardless of how you relate to this man. Whether or not you stay in the relationship is a very different issue and the relationship itself is not the limitation. All limitations are within you.

In a marriage you are able to see your reflection in your partner. He will reflect your beliefs back to you in a very obvious and triggering way. If not for him you would get the same reflection from others in your close circle of friends and family. Your “problems” and fears would still be in your life, but be reflected from those others instead of your husband.

There is nothing wrong in leaving the marriage, and your life will be good either way. There is nothing wrong in staying in the marriage, and your life will still be good either way. What we are saying is that the marriage is not what is holding you back. Your limiting beliefs are. Deal with those fears and beliefs first. Then make the choice about the marriage when you are clear about who you are.

Stop worrying what others will think of you. The only judgment that is real is your own.

What do you fear will happen if you leave? Why do you believe others will judge you? This judgment is your own!

Why do you believe it matters for who you are if you are married or not?

Why do you believe leaving a relationship will make life better for you?

What expectations do you have to yourself as a married woman?

Why do you think these would change by a divorce?

What do you believe you as a woman should do, how are women supposed to behave?

How do you see yourself? Are you good? What is good? Why do you need to be good? Will your opinion of yourself change if you cause others pain by divorce? Why? Do you understand that you can not make others feel anything, but that all people choose their feelings by how they perceive what is happening?

Are you worthy? Are you worthy of inner freedom? How can this be achieved? Why do you believe your husband can change this or limit this?

This is not about your marriage. This is about how you perceive yourself and what demands you are making of yourself. Think about those demands and how they relate to your fears and your limiting beliefs about yourself. What if it is all just a big illusion? What if you are really already free?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s