When I travel abroad it always feels easier to breathe, like I am freer out in the world. Why?
Because you are. You are freer when you are away from the expectations you believe ties you down back home. You believe others see you in a certain way, and you feel the need to live up to those expectations. When you are in your home environment you know that there are certain rules of behavior, both for you belonging to this culture, as a woman in general, and to you personally. All these expectations, real or imagined, weigh you down. You allow them to weigh you down because you have the belief that you must fulfill others’ expectations. As if what others want from you somehow matters.
What a ridiculous thought! As if you would let others’ expectations dictate your choices in life and how you feel about yourself? Because that wouldn’t make any sense, would it? Yet that is exactly what you do.
When you are away from home, in a foreign country you know that many of these rules no longer apply. You are allowed to be someone else when away from home. In a different culture you can change who you are. In a foreign land you know you will always be a foreigner and so you don’t try so hard to fit in. You know that you will always stand out as someone different, and so the expectations to be one of the crowd don’t weigh so heavy on your shoulders. You don’t try to hide your different-ness, because you know that is impossible.
And so it is in real life too. You all try to hide how you are different, and how you don’t fit in. You try to mask where you perceive yourself as abnormal. You believe you can hide the truth from those around you. But you never can. The more you try to hide yourself the more this uniqueness will push through and show itself. There is no more hiding. If the only break you get is when you travel abroad then you will surely feel the pressure when you are at home. The longing for a vacation is not only about being off from work. It is also a longing to break free from expectations, to let lose and to be wild. To be more of who you truly are.
The more you can release yourself from these expectations, the less pressure will build up inside. These expectations are not physical manifestations, they are only chains of thoughts that you place upon yourself! You do this to yourself! No one else can ever force their expectations upon you. You always, always have a choice to agree or to rebel against those expectations. Your life is your choice. The limits you place upon yourself, through expectations and perceived expectations from others, are all in your mind. They are perceptions only. And they are voluntary. You can chose to let them go. You can chose to live in the freedom of the constant vacationer. All up to you.