You believe you are not good enough. You believe you should be different. You believe that what you can do and can’t do (well enough) means something about who you are. You believe that how you perform in certain activities means something about who you ARE. You believe that how you perform in certain activities means something about how worthy you are of love.
You believe you somehow are responsible for making others happy. And you believe that you need to be a certain way in order for them to be happy. You believe it is your responsibility to be good at those things you “should” be good at, so that other people can allow themselves to feel good.
Do you see anything incorrect in these statements?
Everyone is responsible for how they feel. No one can make anyone else feel anything. You are in control of how you feel. You cannot control how others feel. If you could, your desire to please them would be enough to make them happy. We think you know by now that this is not the way it works.
You decide to feel good and to stay in alignment, or to not do so. Others do the same. They decide how they feel, and this is done regardless of how you behave. People can get upset no matter what you do. You try to make them happy and yet somehow they choose to be upset. Do you see how what you do has no effect on their happiness? THEY are in charge of how they feel. YOU are in charge of how YOU feel. The belief that you can control how others feel is nothing but an illusion. Yes, you are powerful, but you cannot create in their reality. Only they can control how they feel. Only you can control how you feel. This means that when you fail to perform how you believe you should perform, you can allow it to influence how you feel depending on what you believe about yourself. When others allow it to influence how they feel it is based on their own limiting beliefs, and it is out of your control.
What we want you to be aware of is the difference between how they really feel, and how you perceive them to feel. They might be feeling good and all right, but because you have created a belief around how you should behave, and what happens when you fail to meet those standards, you are limiting your perception of them in a way that only allows you to see them act in a way that aligns with your beliefs. If you believe your failure makes them unhappy, you will only be able to perceive them and their reactions in a way that aligns with your beliefs. They may be totally fine with your performance, but because you have a belief that they will be upset, you interpret what they say and do to be in accordance with your belief that they are upset. Your reality must be aligned with your beliefs. If the reality does not match it, you will adapt your perception of reality so that it seems to you that the reality is different than it really is, so that it can match your beliefs. Through your beliefs you are shaping your perception of reality into something that is very different from how your partner sees it.
You have a very limiting perception and definition of who you are and who you should be. You have very limiting beliefs of who you need to be in order to be worthy of love. This strict definition is creating emotional pain within you when you do not live up to this standard of being. Why are you experiencing this? Because your inner self is wanting to make you aware of these limitations, and help you change how you see yourself.
When you believe you must achieve certain things before you can be worthy of love, you are living in an illusion. You are creating pain for yourself through the illusion that you must somehow earn love. You do not need to earn love. Love is what and who you are. It comes to you because like attracts like. You are loved because that is the vibration you are, and because you ARE the very same energy that you seek. You want to be loved and appreciated so that you can feel worthy of love. But you ARE love. You are the very thing you seek. And until you decide to love who you are being including all parts of yourself, unconditionally, you will not be able to perceive all the love that is already being given to you. You are already loved. You are already worthy of love, no matter what you do or say. Nothing you do or say can make you unworthy. Because you are alive, you are worthy. You are one with the energy that creates and that IS all that is. One part of this energy cannot be bad, because there is no separation in the energy. If one part of the water in the bowl is clean, the rest will be clean too. You cannot pour piss in a bowl of water and not have it mix with all the rest of the water. It is either all clean and good, or all bad and dirty. And as you know that there are some people and animals out there worthy of love, you must logically understand that you are also worthy.
How do you feel this worthiness? By allowing yourself to accept the parts of you that you now label as not good enough. You need to change your definition of what makes a good man. You can fail to perform in certain or all things, and still be worthy of love. You need to practice failing, and then practice loving yourself despite this failure. If you only love yourself when you do good and right, you are practicing conditional love. You deserve, you are, you give unconditional love. Practice unconditionally loving yourself. Accept that you will make mistakes. Accept that you do not perform perfectly in all areas. Realize that this does not make you less worthy. It just makes you a really bad cook. Or a really bad carpenter. Or a really bad make up artist. It does not take any value from you. Just like you being a good cook, or a good make up artist, does not add any value to you. Regardless of what you can do or say, of how you perform or how you look, you are worthy. You cannot make yourself any more worthy, and you cannot make yourself unworthy. But you have some very limiting definitions of who and how you should be. Change this! Do not have such high demands of yourself! Understand that the perfection is not what deserves to be loved, for that is easy to love. The perceived imperfection is what deserves love, because that proves to you that you are a true lover. When you can love the animal who is not cute, or the person who sometimes makes mistakes, that is when you know you are a being of unconditional love. Extend that love first to yourself. Love the parts of you that you believe are wrong. Accept that you are all of it, not just the good parts. When you can accept these parts and still feel like you are good enough, your perception will change. You will be able to perceive yourself in a way that allows for you to see how these seemingly undesirable traits are actually perfect. You will begin to see how being a bad cook allows for your partner to feel good about their own mediocre cooking. You will begin to see how your own failure allows for others to relax and not try to impress you, but to just be themselves. When they see you fail they allow themselves to be imperfect too, and that is why they feel so good around you. Being who you are and accepting all of yourself allows others to be who they are. When you can accept all parts of yourself you vibrate this acceptance out to the world, and you help others accept themselves.
You are worthy. You are enough. You just cannot see this yet because you have a limited definition of who you should be. It doesn’t matter how you created this definition. All that matters is that you now change it. You can be how you want to be. But first you have to learn to accept how and who you are today. Start to change your definition. Allow for a wider and more lose definition. Allow yourself to move beyond the borders of who you think you should be. Defy your definition and see that you are still worthy. Then change your beliefs into less limiting beliefs. Allow yourself to make mistakes and see how you are still worthy. You are worthy because of who and what you ARE, not because of what you can or cannot do.
Change your definition of who you should be. Realize that you created yourself this way for a reason. Understand that you cannot yet see this reason because of your limited perspective, but trust in the wisdom of your inner self. Trust that for now you can safely accept and love who you are today, and soon you will see the reason WHY you are this way, and how you are so perfect. The perfection is already there, you just cannot see it. Have faith in the wisdom of who you really are, and your reality will shift to allow you to see your own perfection. but your reality can only shift AFTER you have changed within. You must take the leap of faith and accept yourself as perfect first, and then the reality will reflect it.
No matter how unworthy you might feel, know that this is an illusion. The truth is that you are worthy. The truth does not change just because you have a limited perception of yourself. Change your beliefs and let go of the illusion. You are worthy.