Q: What is this energy I feel within me when I meditate or focus? How do I use it?
A: This creative energy that you feel is the energy of all that is. It is the Creation energy. When you are in a focused state, you can, as you said, feel into your resistance. This energy is pure love, so when it meets something within you that is not pure love, that is resistance, it produces a distinct reaction within you. As you practice playing with this creative energy you will learn to recognize where the resistance is, and what the resistance is. In many cases simply acknowledging the resistance or fear will be enough to remove it. You just want to become aware that there is fear, then allow the loving and creative energy to move through the fear and transmute it into love.
That is why you are feeling these higher energies moving through you. It is not only for your personal use, for you to create what you desire. It is for you to receive and move through you so that it can be both grounded in Gaia and also to be filtered through your body and your consciousness and then moved out to the rest of the human collective. Through this filtering of pure love energy you are making it vibrationally ready and of use to the collective, thus anchoring the higher vibrations in the human consciousness also for those that cannot yet receive it directly on their own. Although these higher energies can certainly be used for your creative purpose (as the supply is endless and unlimited) that is not WHY it is coming to you. You already have more than enough of this creative energy within you to manifest anything and everything you would like to experience in your reality. But these new energies are coming to you for the purpose of being introduced and accepted in the human collective, and as such you are now a tool for the ascension process in a more direct way than you might have previously imagined. You are not alone in this process and you are not special in that way. What makes you special is how your individual energy adds and filters and changes the incoming energies, and from this leaving your unique imprint on the energy that is coming FROM you and into the collective. Your unique imprint and filtering of these higher energies is what makes your gift so valuable. The filtering you do is based in your experiences, your beliefs, your individual talents and gifts, and your desires for what this energy might bring to others. You desires for what you wish to bring to humanity and all that is, the unique ways in which you perceive and imagine happiness, the unique ways in which you wish for others to experience love, and your unique desires for how this love is manifested on Gaia, that is what creates a very unique and valuable energy that flows from source, through your being, and into humanity.
The gift that is you, your energetic being, is more than the imprints you leave in your interactions with other beings. It is also the complete and total influence of your desires and dreams, your perspective of what is love and what it means. How you perceive yourself and your idea of love will color the energy that runs through you. How you choose to filter the source energy that comes through you will impact the changes that you make in the human collective awareness and field of energy. Who you are does make a change. It makes a powerful impact on the consciousness of all that is, and it makes a great contribution to the raising of love vibration in the creation of all that is.
If you wish to tap into this energy to raise your own vibration further, and to create the life you imagine you dream of, then all you have to do is to allow it to remove the fear in you. Through your awareness of this pure energy you are allowing in more love and more light, and through your conscious acceptance of the source energy as a force that FEELs larger than you (but not actually is) you can trust the Universe and your guides to fully support you through any necessary changes in order to create what you desire to live. The removal of fear is not only the limiting beliefs that you have about what you can do, but also the fear of your own power. As you become more accepting of the power of this source energy that you feel within you, you will also have to accept more of the power that is innately yours. It is yours because it IS you, and once you do start to accept this power as yours and you, you will allow yourself to use more of it and use it in more focused ways. The use of this power will be easier as you accept your power, because the fear that used to block your ability to tap into it, will be less and less. As you slowly tap into the power that is you, you will learn to trust yourself and your own power, and the fear will slowly be reduced. As the fear is reduced you again allow yourself to tap into more of your own power, and so the circle continues to spin, creating more and more power within you. This power was always available to you, you simply stopped yourself from using it due to fear. The more you raise your perspective of who you are, the more power you allow yourself to tap into. However grand and magnificent you imagine yourself to be, you are infinitely more.