You want outside approval because you are not giving yourself that approval. You want outside confirmation, so that you can be a good girl, a good student. You fear doing the wrong thing, not because it would lead you astray, but because that would mean you were a failure, or wrong, and then you would not get outside approval.
The desire to receive outside approval for your choices stems from you refusing to give that love to yourself, so you seek it from a power outside of you. You want others to tell you that you are good enough, because you refuse to give that love to yourself. But there is a huge crack in your logic in asking others to approve of your choices, or tell you that you are doing the right thing, moving in the right direction. Because how could they possibly know what is right for you?
The path that you are walking is being created as you walk it. Yes, you have pre-birth intentions on what you wish to experience, and you have intentions that create the bigger picture of your path and your expression of who you are. But the details, how you walk this path, how you experience this path, how you expand into the person you are becoming, that is a miracle that happens as you live it. No one else can know what is the right choice for you, or who you should be and what you should do at any one moment, because the path will unfold determined by the choices you make. There is no wrong or right way to get to where you are going. There is only a multitude of right choices, of right paths, that will all get you to the same wonderful and perfect place. You will get there, at the perfect time, so all that is left to do for you is to decide how you want to journey there. And as there are no wrong choices and no wrong paths, the advice told to you by others are based in their own desires and limiting beliefs. But your limiting beliefs and desires for what you want to experience are uniquely yours. They are not the same as anyone elses. You are different, you are unique, and so are your limiting beliefs, your fears, and your desires. They are similar to others’ yes, but not the same. That means that the situations and manifestation events you want and need, will be created specifically for you. And so when you ask others for advice on your journey, you are asking them to make a choice for YOU, based in THEIR fears and desires, and that can never be the right match. Only you can decide for you, based in YOUR fears and desire, because only YOU can create YOUR path.
The sooner you start to trust yourself and your own inner voice, your own inner sense of direction, the sooner you will learn to feel and sense what is right for you. And the only way to learn to trust yourself is to start practicing this. You will not suddenly wake up and trust yourself, unless you start practicing. Any skill you now have, walking, riding cooking, you had to practice first. And you fell down many times, burnt many meals, before you learned to do it in a way that created the desired results. You only learned to do it right by practicing and allowing yourself to “fail”. And you practice because there was no other way, there were no short cuts. So it is with trust. You must practice, because there is no other way to learn this skill. You simply have to start, and be OK with the perception of making a mistake. Even if it is not a mistake, because you cannot make mistakes, you can only make choices that create different manifestation events. And each manifestation event will teach you what you need to learn in order to get back onto the easier path. There are no choices that will NOT create manifestation events, because those events are there to teach you about yourself, and to help you change your limiting beliefs. So whatever you choose, you will have to face your fears. Knowing that you will have to deal with the fear anyways, why not just start somewhere, anywhere?
Those who trust themselves, those who are confident, are so because they have failed, and have accepted themselves through those failures. There is no way around it. You have to practice, and you have to accept yourself as you practice. You have to deal with your limiting beliefs, and it will be uncomfortable. That is what you have to look forward to, because that is a part of being human. But you can make it less uncomfortable through choosing to be kind and compassionate towards yourself. You can start to love yourself, even if you don’t see yourself as good enough. You can start to love the one you see as imperfect, because she needs that love much more than the perfect one. You are worthy of it. You are worthy of love, even your own love.