Q: Yesterday I was just simply walking in my local supermarket and happened to see a book on the book section that sort of triggered an envious reaction, like why is my name not up there, etc. Then it spiraled into other thoughts, like if I buy cake I will get fat, I am spending too much money, the line is too long and I will have to wait and people will be rude to me. Basically my own thoughts spiraled out of control into negative things triggered by seemingly nothing.
What should I do in these situations? Why does this happen? Do I need to control my thoughts?
Answer: It is always your own thoughts that trigger you. When there is an outside event, this event is neutral, but perceived in a specific way depending on your beliefs. When you experience negative emotions due to an outside event, that means you have found a limiting belief. But it is still your specific reaction, your thoughts around the matter that make you feel bad. The outside event can seem neutral and tiny to others, or even a good event, but for you, with your specific beliefs (or anyone else with similar beliefs) this event triggers fear. It is always, always your thoughts that make you feel bad.
In this event the envy was brought on by comparison. You feel not good enough, that you should do better, and then you see someone else who is by your comparison doing better, and your feeling of being not good enough is triggered. This is just a tool that you have created to help you become aware of your limiting beliefs, so that you can change them. You are not neurotic, you are reacting as designed, reacting to a signal that is telling you to change your beliefs. If you didn’t notice this reaction, you would be creating even more pain within, as you would be burying the pain rather than dealing with it. Now that you find you get triggered a lot, you are simply more aware and in tune with your emotions, meaning it is easier for you to understand when and what needs to change.
The other negative thoughts come to you because they are all connected. They are all reasons why you are unworthy, and/or situations that bring you pain. People will be rude to you, is the belief that you are a victim. And they will be rude to you because you are worthless, no? You spend too much money, meaning you don’t deserve all this abundance. You will get fat, you see fat as an expression of being wrong and bad. These things all represent pain to you. The way you feel when people are rude to you, is similar to how you feel when you are disgusted by your body, or when you feel you do not deserve the good life you now have. It all comes down to you feeling unworthy.
So how to deal with this? We asked for an example because it is easier to explain in a specific situation:
When you notice the feeling, be aware that this is a signal that you have limiting beliefs. Then find a place where you can process safely, preferably alone and undisturbed.
Feel the depth and width of that negative emotion. Don’t try to push it away or feel better, just allow it to truly be felt. Feel how shit it feels to be worthless.
All feelings are energy. Energy wants to move. This negative feeling wants to do its job of telling you that you have a limiting beliefs, it wants to point you to the belief, and then it wants to move. But when you resist it, you block it from leaving. You energetically attach yourself to the feeling, keeping it trapped inside of you. When you ignore your feelings without trying to figure out why they are there, or when you refuse to feel them out, you trap the energy within you emotional and physical body. The pain is then stored for later, when something else triggers this feeling, and the new reaction is added to this old reaction, and both reactions/feelings come to the surface. When you don’t feel out (empty) your feelings, but just push them away, they just get stored within you for later and then as you experience manifestation events you add more and more pain to this storage.
So, feel the pain, explore every corner of it. At some point, maybe it takes hours, maybe minutes, you will feel the energy starts to wear off. It gets lighter. You may feel empty, or you could feel relief. Then start the intellectual process of understanding WHY you feel unworthy. Maybe childhood memories come up, or you think about the event in the shop. When you rationalize this, you can understand intellectually that you are not unworthy, not even if you are fat and spend too much money. But this still feels true, that you are unworthy. Which is why you need to find a bridge, a slightly less negative statement that you can use to bridge a way towards more positive beliefs. For instance: I love several people who are fat, so I am not more unworthy then they are. Then you need to feel into this. Does it feel true? Or is that also a lie? If it doesn’t feel true, then you need to lower the statement, take tiny steps. “I am fat, which is bad, but many people are fat and bad, so I am not worse than most”. Feel within, if it feels OK and neutral, if you can believe it. You want to find something that feels true, something that is believable. And then slowly, over time, you build your way up from there. This may take weeks or months, depending on how stubborn your beliefs are.
The point is, you need to feel your way through ever step of the process. The intellect is not enough, you need to also feel every part of your intellectual process. The mind can tell you that you are worthy, but you feel in your body that you are not. So you need to feel your emotions and let the emotions set your pace, not the mind.
The part where you control your thoughts, happens when you use your mind to understand, OK here is a feeling, now I need to feel this and then later analyze it. But if you just go straight to “This is just a limiting belief, so it is not true, so I can just think about puppies and kittens and be happy instead” then you are ignore the signaling system, and the pain will be stored in your body for future use. The pain simply grows, because you never feel it and allow it to move on.
You navigate your reality through feeling. You perceive through feeling. You also change your beliefs through feeling. The intellect is a helpful tool, but the feelings must lead the way. Accept the way you feel, and don’t try to shut them away or ignore them. Accept that you feel this way, that you reacted, that you now have to deal with this. Accept yourself for feeling this way, and leave out the shame and judgment. Negative feelings and beliefs are not shameful, they are part of the experience of the illusion. It is not weakness, it is an experience that builds courage and strength. Accept that you feel this way, and then start changing. Accept the feeling through allowing it space to be felt and then slowly let go of, and you will be able to fully understand the message it is telling you.