The ideal that you have created for yourself, the idea of what it means to be worthy of love; does not exist. No one in your life is living up to that ideal. If it seems like they are, it is because you do not know them. You cannot possibly know their every thought, their judgments and their feelings. You can only know yourself. And you have measured yourself and decided you are not good enough. You do not live up to this ideal that you created.
You have so many definitions tied into the roles you believe you are in this lifetime. You see yourself as a mother, father, woman, man, daughter, son, husband, wife, friend, colleague. These roles come with identities and expectations. You believe these roles are who you are. You then adopt the beliefs that are tied to these roles, and you believe you need to fulfill these expectations of who to be. You believe that being a woman means you should be feminine, loving, nurturing. Being a man is to be strong, powerful, loud, fearless. You have all these definitions for each role, and you believe you MUST live up to these definitions. But all definitions are limiting. A woman can be loud, fearless and not nurturing. A man can be loving, nurturing and not loud. You are who you are because that is who you are in this moment, not because of any roles you identify with.
You have a physical body. This body has gender identifying traits. Who you truly are is gender-neutral. Your soul is neither female nor male; it is pure energy. Who you are is not masculine or feminine energy; you are both. You are the united parts of All That Is, in a unique mixture, and you are changing into something new every minute of your existence. You have been all of it, and you will continue to become more. But do not allow these roles to define you. Do not allow the definitions that come along with being a man or a woman, to change who you are. You do not need to be different than who you are. You do not need to be defined or changed or shaped into anything other than what you are. Who you are is perfect and divine, and you are this way not through error but by divine decree. You are meant to be this way. You are exactly what and who you should be. And if you change you will still be perfect. But do not try to be different from what you are, in order to fit into any definition. You cannot be defined.