The cause of disconnection
Your body is you anchor to this physical dimension. All your experiences happen within your consciousness, centered around your physical body. Your feelings and emotions are sensed through your physical vessel: sadness, grief, anger, joy, love, all is felt in your solar plexus, head, shoulders, chest and throat. You feel the anger bubbling in your tummy, or grief painfully filling your heart. When you are confused it feels like the brain is all foggy. Every emotion is sensed through the physical body.
Your experiences are possible because of the physical senses: touch, sight, hearing, taste, smell. You see through your eyes, you hear through your ears, communicate and express yourself through mouth and hands, receive through skin, ears and other body parts. Your body is your tool for expressing, receiving, experiencing and exploring both yourself and the outside reality. It is the place where all your non-physical senses and the physical senses can meet and merge.
The physical body can be your ticket to freedom, and a place for joy and excitement, or it can be a limiting cage of fear, pain and terror. It holds the potential to let you explore whatever you desire.
Most people are disconnected from their bodies. You come into this life as a baby, naturally connected to your physical vessel, ready and delighted to explore it. As you age and adopt the limiting beliefs of those around you, you start to experience emotional pain. You feel shame, guilt, fear, sadness, anger flow through your body. Your limiting beliefs about yourself and your worth, what you are capable of, who you are and how others either love you or stop loving you, create physical sensations in your body that feel very unpleasant. Because you don’t have the tools or the understanding to change these unpleasant or painful feelings, you start to resent the body that allows you to feel this way. You are unaware that it is your non-physical beliefs that are causing the emotional pain, and so the anger is instead turned against your body, the vessel that allows you to feel your emotions. When you are unable to control your emotions, unable to escape the emotional pain, you turn to controlling your body as a way of managing life and surviving in your own cage of fear and pain.
This control very often happens through creating a separation between you and your body, dissociating from the physical vessel. Only through distancing yourself from the body that hurts, can you go on living life somewhat in peace, or at least cope enough to meet another day. This change happens gradually, and can be observed in adults who ignore their own health, in over or underweight, in substance abuse or people who feel proud to not give into the bodies need for sleep or rest. They feel good when they are not giving into their bodily needs, because it gives them a sense of being in control of the body, and it helps them separate their sense of self from the body. They feel strong because they are in control of their body, and don’t give in to the needs of their physical vessel. Tolerating pain becomes an admirable attribute, and tolerance comes from separating yourself from your own physical expression. If you truly were connected to your body, you would listen to the pain and take action in order to relieve it, understanding that pain is a message that something needs to change.
Your body is always serving you, working FOR you, doing it’s best to help you become aware of what you are aligning to and what you are vibrating. Your frequency directly influences your body, so that the body can tell you what you are attracting and creating. If you choose to ignore the signs, the body is forced to speak up, all the way into a scream.
Why you are disconnected from your body & how to heal it
When your vibration is in alignment with your true self you feel good. Positive and joyful emotions flow through you, and you sense this in your physical body. Joy and peace feel good, because it is in alignment with your natural state of being. You feel good because you are being in a state of love and acceptance. As a child you adopted certain beliefs that are now limiting you, such as “I am not good enough”, or “I should be different”, or “I need to work hard to make more money”, or “Life is hard, and we need to protect ourselves to stay safe”. These beliefs limit your exploration of life, because you limit the things you do and the people you connect with, because when you experience something that goes against your beliefs, you feel bad. This system is designed to help you see that you are limiting yourself, so that you can change your beliefs. But because most people don’t know this, you have instead adopted a system or simply trying to avoid being triggered. You limit yourself and live a smaller life, in order to not feel negative emotion as the result of triggering your limiting beliefs. In this way your beliefs limit you, and you will have to live a smaller and narrower life as time goes on, because as you expand your fears will expand too.
You are an energetic being that is constantly expanding, and so all parts of you will expand in unison. That means that when you expand, your fears and limiting beliefs will expand too, naturally, as they are a part of your energetic make up. The only way to counter this is to change the beliefs that limit you, and to let go of fear as you expand, so that you can continue to expand but simultaneously lessen the fear within you. In order to do this, you need to start feeling your emotions. You need to open up to the movement of energy within you, the energy in motion, the e-motions.
Emotions are messengers. Your feelings are packages of information telling you what is limiting you and what needs to change within you, in order for you to be able to experience the things you desire and dream of. The way the system has been designed, you need to open the message and read it before it can move on out of your body. You have to feel the feeling, listen to what it is telling you, and accept it’s visit before it can move on out of your energetic and physical body. When you suppress or ignore your feelings, they have to linger, sometimes for decades, because you have refused to open the message. The emotion is stored within your field of energy, within your body, and every time you experience something that triggers the limiting belief it is here to point you towards, that initial message lights up. Every time you trigger a limiting belief, you also trigger the old feelings of this original wound, because you haven’t allowed yourself to feel the feelings when they first came to visit.
Disconnecting from your body to survive
When you don’t know what to do with your feelings, or how to process them, they become an uncomfortable and unwelcome part of your life that you try your best to avoid. Some people are uncomfortable with intense joyful emotions, but almost everyone is uncomfortable with negative emotions. This means that most of the adult population is walking around with decades of suppressed emotions (messages) inside, and every day they do their best to push down again the feelings that force themselves up to the surface. How do you push down your feelings? By disconnecting from the vessel that delivers the messages: your body. If you don’t want anyone calling you, you turn off your phone. If you don’t want to read your emails, you do the same, including your laptop and iPad. Turn it off. Disconnect.
When this vessel is the same body that you use every day to interact in this game of life, the problem is worse. Your disconnect to not have to feel your feelings, means a disconnect that shuts you off from feeling the other signals coming from your body too. You disconnect from the normal signals of hunger, fullness, and early signs of exhaustion. Because you are not used to listening to the body, due to trying to suppress your feelings, you lose touch with what the different signals coming from your body mean. You are no longer able to tell the difference between hunger and emotional needs, between being pleasantly full and being too stuffed. You don’t know what is hunger for intimacy or connection, and what is hunger for food. You don’t know how to separate a need for love and a need for chocolate. So you reach for chocolate, or a second helping of pasta, because the need is still aching in your belly. The food doesn’t help, it doesn’t satiate you, because your hunger is not for food but for love.
When you don’t understand the signals, you can’t nourish yourself in the right way. The needs of your heart and your stomach are mixed up, and the disconnect between head and heart creates a body that no longer feels like home.
- How do you feel emotionally when you are hungry? How do you feel emotionally when you crave to eat?
- How do you feel when you overeat or eat without being able to stop? How does it feel emotionally and how do you feel physically? How does it feel after you have stopped eating, emotionally and physically?
- How do you feel when you are hungry but do not eat? How does it feel emotionally to starve yourself or deny yourself food?
- How do you cope with or handle negative emotions?
- How do you feel emotionally in the moments before you overeat? What is going on emotionally inside of you, and where in the body do you feel it?
Your body does not define you, but...
Your body does not define you, but how you define your body most definitely influences how you experience yourself and your reality.
Whether you like your body or not, your body is going to influence how you relate to other people, how you relate to the outside world, and how you relate to yourself. It is impossible to ignore your body and not let that affect your relationship to yourself. IF you do ignore your body, that in itself will influence your relationship with yourself, as you are deliberately ignoring your physical vessel for interaction with your outside world, and that is experienced as a rejection of parts of yourself. Rejecting yourself can only lead to emotional pain, which in some cases develops into actual physical discomfort and pain.
If you love and adore your body, you will nourish it in ways that are loving and kind, and your eating pattern will support that. If you do not have a healthy eating pattern then your relationship with your body is not a supportive one, and there is miscommunication in your relationship. You either ignore the needs of the body or you misinterpret the needs of the body because you are ignoring or denying the needs of the non-physical parts of yourself. The body is reflecting the non-physical reality so that you can create balance in both realities, the physical and the non-physical, and create Oneness within yourself. Don’t blame the messenger when the problem is your unwillingness to listen to the message…
If you can’t love your body, then aim for acceptance. Acceptance of what is, must always come first. Whatever it is you want to change, you must first accept your creation as it is currently. And the body IS your creation, whether you like it or not. It is your creation, it is your expression and your tool to explore this reality, and before you can change it you must accept it and accept your responsibility for your creation. That does NOT mean to shame yourself for your creation, because it is not wrong. It simply means recognizing that your creation has a purpose, and to be willing to hear the message this creation is delivering to you.
Your body is the way it is for a reason, and if you can accept the shape and form of it as it is now, you can open up to understand WHY it has this shape, and how this shape is currently serving you by teaching you what you are thinking/feeling/vibrating, and how that is either in alignment with what you want, or not in alignment with what you want.
Only once you know what you are creating (through seeing the physical manifestation of it and how that manifestation makes you feel) can you change your vibration.
But first ask yourself “What is it I truly desire?”.
Giving yourself what you crave
There is nothing wrong with your body, or the signals it sends to you. Your perception and understanding of those signals is the problem. You are trying to feed the body one thing, while your basic need is something very different from food. What you desire is your own love. Your unwillingness to give that love, is transformed into a constant hunger for the one thing you allow yourself to receive: food. When you refuse to satisfy your need for love, you fuel an insatiable hunger for one or several expressions of love: food, money, shopping, outside approval etc. You withhold your true desire from yourself (love) and instead you try to give yourself all the other things that you define as expressions of love. Very often as a child you were soothed with food. You received cake or ice cream for special occasions, when you were celebrated or when you were given comfort. You even have a name for that food “comfort food”. The symbol of love that you feel safe in giving to yourself, as a replacement for what you truly crave and need.
The more you withhold love from yourself, the greater your need gets. You give yourself more and more food, more and more shopping, seeking more and more outside approval, or whatever way you have chosen to replace true love. The comfort never lasts, it is always temporary, because you are not giving yourself what you truly need, only a weak substitute. The more food you give to yourself, the more your body will manifest into a home that feels foreign, and the more you dislike and resent the body and it’s shape. The more you resent your body, the more you resent yourself for creating this body. You’ve come full circle: not loving yourself led to actions that create more of what you deem as unlovable. You continue to refuse to love yourself, and now the body is the perfect manifestation of WHY you cannot love yourself. You keep hurting yourself as you eat more and more, never satisfying your need for love, and constantly manifesting the action that leads to more of what you see as the representation of all that is wrong with you: the body that refuses to be the shape you desire, the body that has needs you cannot resist, the body that makes you lose control, the body that makes you unlovable. What a traitor!
It’s not about food, it’s not about weight
This inner pain can also manifest in the exact opposite: denying yourself what you need through starvation, and using that sense of control to make you feel better. Through denying yourself the reward of food you give yourself the reward of being in control of at least one small part of your life.
Until the need to control your eating habits and your body starts to control you, and you become your own worst enemy. Same as with over eating, the temporary relief of starvation never lasts for long, and there is no end result good enough. You have to keep refusing to nourish your body, keep feeling the hunger and the pain, keep hurting yourself more and more in order to control your emotional pain. It never works, it never lasts, because pain is not your path to what you need and yearn for. Hurting
yourself through overeating or undereating only intensifies the pain, making it so very clear how you are the one hurting yourself, and it reinforces the feeling of being a failure and of failing in your attempt to be in control. Fear of food and the fear of eating will at some point reinforce the feeling you are trying to escape: the feeling of not being in control. The only way to break this cycle is to start feeding yourself what you truly want. The substitute will never satisfy you, which is why you keep feeling that inner hunger. And the thing you truly desire is free, abundant, and easily accessible. It is your own love. But you guard it like a hidden treasure, that exist in a finite amount, and may only be given to those who have proved themselves worthy though an impossible standard of perfection. You always fail in living up to this image of perfection, because it doesn’t exist, and it is usually always the opposite of what you believe yourself to be. Perfection and being lovable is seen as something that exists outside of yourself, when in fact it is exactly the opposite: you are the very definition of lovable. You are love itself. You are the energy that you so long to receive. You are it!
- How do you feel about yourself, about who you are? How do you feel about your body and your eating habits?
- What is it you want to change, and what is it you believe this change will create for you? Why have you not been able to change this already?
- What is it you try to achieve when you overeat or starve yourself, what feeling is it that you are chasing?
Feeling shame for your needs
So many people feel ashamed by their needs. Everyone has a need for love. To be loved, to express love, and to love, is all a part of the human condition, because the human is love energy in physical manifestation. When you desire to love and be loved, that is a desire to express your very essence. You want to give of the energy that is you, that flows through you and to you. You want to open up and receive that love energy as well, because to receive allows energy to move through you, and every time energy moves through you or any other being, that energy expands from your interaction. To give and to receive is the natural balance of all beings, and love just happens to be the byproduct of your existence. Feeling ashamed by your need to do what is your nature is incredibly limiting and painful, as the pain you feel when you deny yourself this engagement with life is telling you that you are existing in a state of fear and illusion. When you deny yourself the pleasure of filling your needs, whether that be a need for touch, for connection, for love and appreciation, for exploring new experiences, for setting boundaries, for valuing yourself, or for expressing yourself and using your voice, it hurts. That need does not go away just because you starve it, quite the opposite.
When you deny yourself the fulfillment of your needs, you fuel the hunger and intensify that need. Your need for adventure, when rejected and denied, turns into a need for constant entertainment of the taste buds, and you eat as a way of exploring your senses rather than nourishing your body. When you suppress a need, that need will manifest in some other area of your life, and with a vengeance. Your appetite for life is then turned into an appetite for food, except food will never satisfy you in the way you desire. No matter how much or how often you eat, the hunger remains.
Fear of life and all the intense sensory input that life brings, can lead to a need for silence. Silencing your sensory input may show up through starvation, trying to control what comes into your body. If you cannot control the feelings, what you see and hear, at least you can control the food you allow to come into you. Finally getting some relief from the noise of food, taste, fullness, pressure from a full belly, and from worrying about how this will affect your looks; it can seem like a break from the intensity of life. But life cannot be shut out. Life finds you through the loneliness of starvation, through the emotional pain of self harm. The fear of food, the fear of losing control, the fear of eating and at times the fear of your self harming habits, it brings back the emotional and sensory traumas. Your fear of losing control of your body, of losing control of your eating habit is the reflection of your intense fear because you feel powerless. Powerless to control life, and powerless to control your experience of life.
But you cannot control life. And you don’t need to. You are so immensely powerful that you do not need to control anything. But in order to experience this, you must start believing in your own power. Your life experience can only ever reflect your beliefs, so you must believe it before it can manifest. You must believe in your power in order to see it in action. You must dare to live, dare to explore life, and dare to let go of control. Only through letting go of control and no longer controlling yourself, can you truly bloom into who you are meant to be, and experience the life you are here to live.
You are trying to put out a fire that is a part of who you are. Your appetite for life is not something that needs to be quenched, but something that should be stoked and encouraged. It is your desire to express yourself, to be who you are, to discover who you will be in any and all situations, to expand into new parts of yourself. This fire needs to burn bright within you, and no amount of food will ever make it go away. Start living in accordance with your inner fire, rather than trying to drown it. Start living in more freedom, more liberation, more adventure, so that you don’t need to seek your excitement and entertainment from food. Nourish the soul, so the body can take only what it needs to thrive.
The balance of giving and receiving
Be aware of how you create balance or imbalance in your relationships. Do you give in order to try to make yourself worthy of giving? When you give, do you expect or need the other person so give the same back to you? If you are over giving you will very often experience that other people don’t give back to you as much as you give to them. This is a reflection of your beliefs that you are not worthy of receiving, and it is a manifestation that is trying to tell you that you are not allowing yourself to receive. You cannot force anyone to give to you, not even through giving more and more.
Ask yourself if you are giving freely from abundance, OR if you are giving as a way of manipulating the other party to give back to you. If your giving comes from love, you will not need the other person to give back to you. If it comes from lack and fear, you see it as a transaction where you demand the other give back as much as they got from you.
Remind yourself that you are worthy of receiving in unlimited amounts, and that all you need to do to receive this is to open up by believing that you are worthy of receiving what you desire. Love, abundance and anything else you desire is always coming to you. It is YOUR responsibility to open up your hands and allow yourself to receive. In order to do so, you must open up to feel what is going on inside of your body, within your energy. You cannot receive with clenched fists, trying to protect yourself or shut certain energies out. Receiving might make you feel vulnerable, because it requires you to open up, to open up to feel it all. Giving is so much easier, because it doesn’t require you to be vulnerable.
Control through food
A slender body is believed to be a body under control. That control is admired. But control is a tool based in fear, and any action taken from fear will lead to more experiences of fear. When the outside world triggers fear in you, it is common to seek to control that outside reality, so you may escape your triggers and escape the tension of feeling fear within your body. You try to control the people around you, what situations you put yourself in, and lastly you try to control yourself. You aim to control your words, your actions and your feelings. Again: any action taken from fear will lead to more experiences of that same fear. When you try to control what you eat and how much you eat, because you feel shame for your body or shame for your lack of control, you are creating more experiences of fear.
If you are someone who diligently tries to control your way through life (99,99% of people are), then to give in to your cravings will feel like relief. For an hour, in a safe way with an acceptable substance, you are finally releasing control. You give in to your craving, letting go of control, and you just BE and enjoy the moment, for as long as it lasts. Until shame for letting go of control finds you again…
If you “feed” off of the feeling of NOT giving in, then starving yourself will feel like relief. When life makes you feel powerless, and like you are not in control, you turn to the ultimate tool of control: denying your physical need for nourishment. You battle your body, trying to force it to subjugate to your need for complete control. You WILL not be controlled by your need for food, you will not be controlled by a weak body… And this is how you lose control, and your eating disorder takes control over you.
You are not here to control life, and certainly not here to control yourself. That includes controlling what you say, what you do, what you eat and what you feel. When you eat too much (more than your body needs and wants), you feel like you have lost control of yourself. That leads to shame. You feel ashamed to have lost control, or to never have had it in the first place. You feel shame for wanting to eat, shame for acting on that desire, shame for eating too much, and most of all shame for losing control of yourself. That shame is misplaced because you were never meant to control yourself in the first place. Eating too much is not the problem, it is simply the symptom of your imbalance, but not the cause of your pain.
In it’s manifestation (the way you feel when you are unable to control yourself as you eat) it is re-creating the underlying pain: shame. With both over and under eating, you feel shame for not being in control. The way you perceive it through your act of eating is that the shame you feel is for losing control with food. But that is just the reflection, the outer manifestation of your real issue. The underlying issue is that you are unable to control yourself, your life, and most of all your feelings, and because you have been taught that you must control yourself and that not being in control is bad, you feel shame. You feel ashamed for not being able to control your feelings, all those emotions cursing through you, and so you manifest this shame through taking action in a way that intensifies this feeling of shame for not being in control. The out of control eating is a physical manifestation of the inner experience of not being in control. The need to control yourself through starvation and denying your physical needs, is a physical manifestation of feeling powerless, of trying to impose your will on the body, of finally being in control.
Control is limitation
When you are not in control of your feelings, you feel overwhelmed because you believe you should be in control of them, and because no one has taught you how to go with the flow of that same energy.
Emotions are messengers. They are here to deliver information, and also to allow you to experience life energy, and to experience different kinds of energy within yourself. When you experience any kind of emotion, you are experiencing 3 things: 1. the emotion, 2. your own energy, and 3. the contrast between your own energy and this other emotion. The next time you feel any kind of emotion, try to remember this. The fact that you are experiencing the feeling coming and going means that this is not who you are. You are the one who experiences the feeling. The unique contrast between your own energy and the emotion moving through you, is the experience that you on a soul level desire. One of countless experiences in countless lifetimes as the eternal Self.
You were never meant to control your emotions, or to control your experience of those emotions. You are here to feel it all, to experience it for the joy of being alive and truly feeling life move through you. When you can consciously be aware of your own energy and allow the emotions to move through you, however long that takes, you can let go of resisting that experience. When you stop resisting it, and no longer try to escape it or to cling to it, you are free to just experience it.
That freedom helps you to anchor deeper within your own energy, and your mastery of simply being in the experience without drowning and without resisting or clinging to it (without clinging to positive emotions such as joy), will cultivate a feeling of being safe within your own body. You cultivate a feeling of being home within yourself. And when you are safe within yourself, within your body, the adventure becomes less scary and more exciting.
There is no need to control your emotions, and there is no need to control yourself, because you are just here to experience it all! There is no need to feel shame for not being able to control your emotions, for you were never meant to control them anyway. You can let go of that shame. And there is no need to feel shame for not being able to control your eating, because that is just a symptom, not the cause. Focus on healing the cause, and just let the symptom be. At some point you will forget about your eating habits, and it will gradually change, but that should not be your main focus. The focus needs to be on setting yourself free from the need to control, from your shame for feeling so much, and from your shame for not being able to control those feelings. Let go of the shame, and relax into yourself, into your body. There is nothing to control, because there is nothing wrong or bad within you.
How to anchor yourself into your body
So how do you find that safety within, inside of yourself, inside your own body?
It starts by trusting yourself. It requires you to get to know your own essence. It is fueled by acceptance of who you are right now. It is fed by you tapping into your power.
You have to trust yourself to be able to face all those emotions that will awaken once you start tuning into your inner world, into your body. You cannot feel safe in a body you do not tune into, you cannot feel safe if you are not willing to listen, to feel, to sense, to hear, to BE in that body. You must trust that you can feel what is inside of you, and not drown in it. Think about everything in your life that you have survived. You carry with you those wounds, and yet you are here. An emotion is simply energy. Choose to trust that you are strong enough to open up and start listening to your body. Trust yourself.
As you trust yourself, you can sink deeper into your inner reality. You are pure energy. You have a very specific and unique energy signature, like no one else. It is your essence. It is who you are. Pure energy. This energy can be sensed by everyone, including yourself. Have you felt your own energy? What do you feel when you are all alone? Does it feel good to be in your own company? Trust is essential once again, because if you do not fully accept yourself it can be uncomfortable to reside in your own energy. You are suddenly faced with every part of yourself, and the parts you don’t like and try to reject, they also have an energetic presence. Try to allow it all to be, and simply feel into it. Try to rest within your own presence. Just sit with yourself and feel how it is to be with you. The more you find that space within you, the easier it will be to seek tranquility and balance in that energy. This is your soul essence, and it is always love, it is always power, it is always present. It requires time and space to get to know your own energy, because you need to be able to be uninterrupted and undisturbed. You need to move beyond the layers of fear, feelings and thoughts, and just be with yourself. Think of it like a meditation, but it is focused on YOU. It is focused on being present within yourself.
Once you find this energy, you will feel more empowered, and reach a new level of trust, because you can now feel the connection with Self.
This self may not be experienced as perfect by you right now. You may be living in the illusion that you are not enough, that you should be different, that you are lacking, that you are too much etc. Those illusions will be dealt with, but for now, try to accept the one who feels like they are not enough. It is simply a feeling, a belief. That belief is not who you are. Move beyond that feeling, move beyond the belief. Accept that this is you, and right now, you are enough. Every time you feel your own soul energy, your essence, lean into it and notice how good it feels to be you. Let this fuel your self acceptance, and maybe move you into self love.
Your power is love, and love is a power. As you get familiar with your own energy, you can tap into your power. With this power, you can even attract negative feelings into your body. You are so powerful that you can create illusions that cloud your perception of self, and you also have the power to remove those illusions. You have the power to experience lack, and the power to experience abundance. As you feel into your energy essence, recognize how powerful you are.
When you are able to experience your reality and your reaction to that reality (your feelings) without losing your sense of self, you cultivate a sense of safety. Feeling safe comes from knowing that you can move through life without needing to control it, because you trust your ability to experience it all and still be OK. That doesn’t mean that you will never feel negative emotion, but that when you do feel negative emotion it doesn’t completely overwhelm you. To be able to feel without drowning in the sensations, creates a sense of mastery, and that mastery helps you to trust in yourself. Trusting yourself is not about being able to manifest everything you want and nothing unwanted. Trusting yourself is about having so much faith in yourself, and respect for yourself and who you are, that you know whatever comes your way you will learn from it and come out on the other side stronger and happier. It is about trusting that you exist in a loving Universe, where everything is working for you and supporting your journey and your growth. It is about knowing you are worthy of all you desire, and that everything you experience in life is moving you in the direction of more love, more abundance, more freedom, and more joy.
Undereating and starving yourself
When the world overwhelms you and your emotions become unbearable, you do what you have to do to survive. For some that means turning to food to help regulate your inner world, to soothe yourself through a substitute for love that temporarily takes the attention away from the emotional discomfort. For others the tool becomes to take in less and less food, as little as possible, in order to feel a semblance of control. When you feel powerless in the way your life unfolds, powerless to change it, and powerless to change how you feel, controlling what you allow to come into your body in the shape of food and calories can create a relief from the emotional stress. At least for a short while.
Emotions come and go, but some come more often and stay longer than you wish. Feeling powerless to control how you feel can lead you to crave control in all other parts of life. If you can’t control the emotions that take up space within you, at least you can control the food you allow in and maybe you can control how much space you take up in the world too. When you succeed in denying your own needs, the body’s needs for nourishment, a sense of control can make you feel less powerless and less helpless. You are less a victim of life and it’s circumstances, and you feel more in control. The feeling of constant hunger may even drown out the inner emotional turmoil, your confusion, your loud thoughts, and your intense pain.
Controlling the food you take in is controlling the energy that comes into you. For those that take in a lot of the energy around them, take in emotions and energies of the people around them, controlling this small part of their energy can feel like relief. Those who over eat are also trying to control the energy within through adding energy in the form of food. It is the attempt to create an inner energy balance through manipulating the energy that comes into you.
If you feel like you have no right to exist, that you should be less or should be different, the changes in your body will be welcomed. Maybe if you could somehow be so small that you become invisible, maybe then you would be good enough. Maybe if you could take up less space, people would accept you more easily. Maybe if you were not you, you could be loved. If you could punish and limit yourself enough, then maybe it would all make sense again.
Powerless vs Powerful
Feeling powerless and helpless is a strong negative emotion, because it is a highly false belief. It is also very limiting, which is why it is so important that you change that belief. Hence the high intensity in the feeling. It is a loud signal, if you know how to read the signs. Your body responds with warning signs, as it is trying to get you to let go of the self harm, and move towards self love.
At some point the need to control takes control over you. And so the circle is closed: you feel powerless, you try to take control to feel powerful, and the tool you use to take control is suddenly controlling you, leaving you feeling powerless. In order to break that loop you have to start with your beliefs, and how you feel about yourself. You need to change your perception of self from powerless to powerful.
- Which part (except for your eating) is it that you need to limit and control? Which part is it that you are trying to change or hide?
- What do you fear could happen if you stopped controlling yourself, including stopped trying to control your eating habit? (TRYING because it obviously isn’t working)
- How would your life be, how would you feel, if you didn’t need to control yourself in any way because you were pure perfection?
- What would happen if you gave in to your feelings and emotions, and just felt it all? Would you lose control of yourself?
- Did your greatest moments in life happen because of your control, or was it out of your control?
- Which part (except for your eating) is it that you need to limit and control? Which part is it that you are trying to change or hide?
Connecting to your Authentic Self
From disconnect to connection
Your body deserves your love, because it is an expression of you and a vessel to BE you. The body is not perfect due to it’s size or shape, but because it is a part of you, and YOU are perfect. You are a creation of love, you are love energy, and so your creation (the body) is also love energy. It is beautiful and perfect not because of it’s shape or size, but because of the energy that animates it. Without you animating that body, it would simply be meat. Your definition of a “right” or beautiful body has been shaped by your society, your culture, your gender identity and the history of all the humans who have lived before you. Your definition of beauty has very little to do with you, and very much to do with the collective you have been born into. Whether or not you perceive your body to be right or wrong, beautiful or ugly, it deserves to be loved by you. It deserves unconditional love. Unconditional as in loved when it is strong and loved when it is weak. Loved when it pleases you by it’s looks, and loved when it doesn’t. Loved when it hurts and loved when it brings you pleasure. It is your vessel and your tool to explore this physical reality, and it allows you to experience yourself in physical manifestation.
It is up to you to decide if the body is going to be used to feel pain or pleasure. When you dislike yourself, who you are, the body has to reflect that. When you disapprove of yourself, who you are, the body has to reflect that. When you withhold love from yourself, the body has to reflect that. That is part of it’s job description, to signal to you what you are currently believing, thinking, feeling and vibrating. If you don’t like what the body reflects, then change what you are projecting. Your like or dislike of your body has very little to do with the body, and very much to do with your perception of the one inside the body. When you reject your body because it isn’t good enough, because it is imperfect in it’s current state, you are rejecting yourself. You are saying “I cannot love myself as I am, I should be different, and I will withhold my love for myself until I have become that perfection”. But that perfection does not exist. And you are not here to love conditionally, you are here to learn how to love unconditionally.
Right now your body is a shield. It shields you from the outside world, but it also shields the outside world from the impact of you and your emotions. At some point you were taught that you were the cause of other people’s pain or discomfort. You were told, or you assumed, that this meant you are bad. Because of your feelings, and your expression of your feelings, you caused hurt in others. Or so you believed. Empaths and sensitive people are constantly told to be less, to limit themselves so they don’t bother those around them with their sensitivity. When you express your feelings, not necessarily through actively speaking, but simply by your being-ness, through your facial expressions or your energy, you force people to face their own inner reality. Which often is very unpleasant, because most people carry a world of hurt within them, deeply suppressed for decades. As a sensitive and expressive child, you triggered people to see their own pain. But you didn’t understand this, that you were reflecting their own pain back to them. You thought it was you causing them pain, by you simply being you. And so you started a life long battle against yourself, trying to be different, trying to be less you, and most importantly trying to not feel so much and not allow those emotions to leak into the world outside of you. You manifested a body thick enough to keep yourself hidden within yourself, and to keep your wonderful and big emotions shielded inside your fat, skin, and bones. Or you manifested a body so small that you were almost invisible. It was like you disappeared, within a body that was tiny and yet never small enough. Only through non-existence would you be small enough, invisible enough, safe enough.
You love the world so much that you denied yourself the right to exist, just to not hurt anyone. Instead you sentenced yourself to a life of oppression, where you would keep all your emotions bottled up and hidden from sight. Where you would shield the world from the light of being you, forever pretending to not be who you are.
This is the greatest pain there is: to not be who you are. There is no greater pain for any soul than to not be yourself. You being you is the very reason you exist. It is your greatest mission, the reason you were created as an individual: to be you in all your glory. And so when you go against that mission, you experience a deep, overwhelming pain. It can be felt as depression, anxiety, a longing for death (so that you may return to the freedom of being yourself again) or a loss of will to live, or any kind of mental, emotional or physical pain. The only way out of this is to start being you, to step by step move into the energy of your authentic self, and allow yourself to feel life in it’s full expression. To allow yourself to feel your own energy in it’s full expression, to fully feel life flowing through you.
To do this, to truly experience life and to truly experience yourself, you must ground yourself in your body. You must accept the body as your earthly home, and anchor your presence within your body. You must start allowing yourself to feel it all through your body, to be in the body and to feel all the sensations manifested in the body: all your emotions, all your physical sensations from the world outside of you, such as taste and sound and sight. You need to open up to the sensations of the physical reality, and then open up to how those sensations feel inside of you! Certain sounds can make you feel emotionally unsettled, or uncomfortable. Certain tastes on your tongue can make you feel happy, or blissful. Certain music makes you feel a deep, deep love or a stillness and peace. But in order to truly enjoy and feel these sensations, both physical and emotional, you need to open up to feel it all. You need to open up and allow yourself to feel your emotions fully, anchored within your body. You need to start trusting yourself and your existence, not being afraid of drowning in your emotions. As you allow yourself to truly feel it all, you open up to a deeper sense of joy, of bliss. You open up to experiencing life as you were always meant to, experiencing it within your own energy, equipped with the ability and sensitivity to feel both the depth and the width of human emotions. Open up to be you again.
Your Authentic Self
When you believe that you are wrong, that you are bad, that you should be different, you try to hide your real self from the world. Most people are trying to hide, and to be seen as someone other than who they are. There is a societal image of perfection, an ideal that all try to live up to, yet all also fail. You did not come here to be a copy of anyone else, but to be you. To be you!
At an early age you start identifying yourself as separate from those around you, and you recognize that your body is an expression of you. Your body, your looks, is how others recognize you. It is very much intertwined with how others perceive you and who they judge you to be. You start to believe that the body reveals to the world who you really are, or that your body is hiding from the world who you are, incorrectly showing a false self. If your body aligns with the ideal perfection, you will feel a dissonance every time your inner self is not perceived as perfection. If your body does not align with the ideal then you will feel betrayed by the body, misrepresented by its form or shape.
The contrast between the ideal body, the body you have, and the way you feel inside your body, is creating a multitude of conflicts between your perception of self, your emotional reality, and the body you see in the mirror. If you do not love the one inside the body, you cannot love the body, and you will use the body to hide yourself from the outside world. Your body becomes your prison, where you hide yourself from being seen, because you don’t feel good enough and you don’t want anyone to find out that you are not good enough. But the body can only ever reflect your beliefs about yourself, so at some point it has to shift and become a body that you see as wrong or bad, wanting it to be different just like you want your personality to be different. At this point your hiding place becomes a home you resist, and it is no longer a safe place. You start to dissociate from the body because it betrays you, and because you judge it as wrong. You no longer have a safe place to be, and the world is even more lonely and strange.
Engaging with life
In order for you to explore your life in the way you intend on a soul level, in order to live the life you dream of, you need to be YOU. You need to be your authentic self. Your authentic self is the personality that you designed yourself to be before you incarnated in this life. You chose your personality AND your body, and this was created perfectly to allow you to explore your soul intentions. That means that all your soul intentions are connected to and tied into you being your authentic self. Your life purpose, your mission, your dreams, can only be explored as your authentic self.
Your life purpose is a match ONLY to your authentic self. Only YOU have the right personality, the right skills and abilities to do this, IF you are being your authentic self. Your dreams can only manifest if you are being your authentic self, because your dreams and desires are created from your soul intentions, so they can only manifest when you are in alignment with the Self that you created to be the perfect person to live your soul intentions.
Everything you want is connected to your Authentic Self.
If you want to be your authentic self, you must feel safe to be that version of you. You must feel safe to be who you really are. Your vessel to express this authentic self is your body, it is your home. You must create a safe space in your body for you to be and express your authentic self.
Change your perspective and open up to your super powers
When you disconnect from your body, you disconnect from your superpowers. Yes, your superpower is a non-physical ability, as it is part of your soul’s energy. But it is expressed and utilized through your body, whether that is channeling, healing, your sensitivity to energy, your emotional vocabulary, your empathy and understanding of others, or anything else. That power is felt within your own body, and in order to tap into that you need to connect to your body. You need to be IN the body in order to fully take in the abilities of your soul.
The reason you disconnected and stay disconnected is that your perspective is off. There is nothing wrong with who you are, but there is most definitely something wrong with your perspective. You don’t need to change any part of yourself, but you do need to change your perception of self, your perspectives. If you can open up to the idea that your current perspective (where you see yourself as imperfect or wrong) could be inaccurate, you will allow yourself to receive information about yourself and your powers in alignment with a higher perspective. If you can stop insisting that you are wrong, you open up to a different perspective. Through that higher perspective you can begin to understand WHY your abilities and your uniqueness is right and so valuable. Not only to yourself but to those that are lucky enough to connect with you.
When you start looking for reasons as to why you being the way you are is so great, you open up to understanding how you can use your abilities to empower yourself and to create more adventure and expansion in your life. Your special gifts and abilities carry enormous potential, and exploring this potential is always going to be the path to the manifestation of everything you desire. It is the path of self love and self acceptance, and it is the connected to your life purpose. But in order to get to this exploration you have to open up to feel your own abilities, to explore them and explore who you truly are. You need to BE in your own energy, and in the space that is the vessel for this exploration and for these abilities: Your Body.
- In what situations do you feel vulnerable or exposed?
- How do you express your feelings? (not your opinion, but how you feel)
- In which moments/situations do you feel the most present?
- What is the difference between how you behave and feel when you are alone, vs when you are around other people?
Nourish the Soul
How to truly be satisfied, opening up to new energy
When you feel the need to eat more than your body needs, drink, smoke, shop, gamble, whatever is your vice, that need is coming from an unfulfilled desire within you. You desire a change in energy, in YOUR energy. You hear the signal from within you asking for a change in energy, and you respond by adding outside energy to the mix. It’s a simple misunderstanding. Because you don’t know any better, you try to change your within energy through adding outside substances to your energy mix. Which doesn’t work, because the change you seek is not the energy of food, alcohol, drugs or new clothes, but to open up to more of your own energy.
When you try to not eat, or eat less than your body needs, you are trying to limit yourself and your own energy. You try to be less you. But there is so much MORE to you than what you have currently explored and unveiled within your own energy! You are here to become more, not to be less. The very thing that you are trying to limit, is in itself seeking a state of expansion. You can never succeed in trying to make yourself less, or smaller, because every cell in your body and in you non-physical field of energy has been designed for expansion!
You are a multidimensional being. That means that your energy is spread out across many dimensions. Who you really are, the real you, exists in mostly higher vibrational dimension. And then there is the part that is this human you, which exists in comparatively lower dimensions. In this process of ascension you are raising your vibration to reach the level of higher consciousness, more precisely YOUR higher consciousness.
You are in the process of reuniting and opening up to higher vibrational parts of your own energy. Parts of you that have been dormant in your field of existence, and new parts that have been created over the course of your expansion. These parts are a vibrational match to you at different times in your journey, and as soon as you are in the vibrational vicinity of one of these energies, they energetically call out to you. You hear the calling, but from your lower consciousness you are not able to correctly interpret the calling, you misunderstand the message.
You hear the call, but mistake it for hunger, or a need for a new outfit. The calling grows stronger and more urgent, and because you don’t know how to answer the calling, your need for change grows more and more powerful and uncomfortable. If you are trying to stay small, then this inner calling will intensify your fear of growth and this in turn intensifies your need to control yourself and limit what you allow yourself to eat.
Stop being afraid of your own potential
Your desire to open up to those parts of your own energy requires a change in you. Any addition of energy means a change in energy. Opening up to those new parts of your energy is the change you seek. If you are sensitive you will hear the calling for change, and correctly interpret it as a need for change in your own energy. Great job! The misunderstanding appears in the next step, when you don’t know how to change your energy, and so you reach for food. Food never satisfies that need, so you have to keep eating and eating and eating, and yet you are never satiated. You can’t be satiated by food, because what you desire is not the energy in food, but the energy within yourself.
You desire to open up to a greater part of yourself, to embrace and include more of your true self into your conscious awareness of who you are. You desire to experience yourself from this new and higher level of consciousness. That is what you seek. That is the change you seek. When you now are aware of what you truly seek, ask yourself “What is it that I am resisting in myself?”.
The energy that you are ready to open up to will always have given you signs and signals in your outside reality. There will have been manifestation events that trigger this specific fear in you, and that fear needs to be let go of in order for you to open up to that new energy. For instance, if you need to open up to your inner abundance, you might have been triggered by an experience of lack, by bills that you are unable to pay or a feeling of just never having enough money. If you are called to open up to more of your innate power, you may have experienced certain situations that left you feeling powerless. These events are all happening for you to see that you have limiting beliefs about yourself, so that you can change those beliefs and open up to the new energy within you. That energy is the opposite of your fear, the belief that you are powerless is pointing you towards your own inner power. Your beliefs about being powerless are holding you back from tapping into that power, and because of those experiences of being powerless you have created the desire to be more powerful. That desire then guides you to fulfill the calling of your new energy: more of your innate power.
You are constantly in communication with the higher vibrational parts of yourself, of your own energy. YOU are guiding yourself forward and upwards. The challenge is for this current you to hear the messages from your future self, so that you can make the necessary changes to align and become that future you. In order to hear those messages you have to move into the body. You have to be receptive and open to those messages, which means that you have to be aware of all that you are sensing and feeling in your human vessel. If you are tuning out your physical sensations or overwhelmed by your feelings, those messages can be almost impossible to hear and interpret. That means that you first have to open up to all the current sensations in your body so that you can get used to listening. You have to open up to feel, and to BE in your body. You have to anchor in your body and take ownership of the body. You have to make it feel like home, so that you can feel safe enough to truly listen.
Making the change to nourish yourself
Cravings are not bad. Cravings very often tell you what your body wants, but that you have been refusing to eat. When the intellect tries to control your eating habits, you are going to copy someone else’s rules for how you should eat. The intellect feels safe following the crowd, so you will seek advice from others who have a body you want to have, and you will adopt their recipe for this body. The problem with that is that you don’t adopt their beliefs about themselves, about food, their feelings of worthiness or their discipline and control. You copy 10% of their recipe, and leave out the other 90%.
Your body is the result of your genes, your environment and upbringing, your beliefs, your perception of self, your fears, your habits and choices, and your actions in life in general (not just around food). You can’t just copy someone else’s eating habits, because THEY ARE NOT YOU. If you want to change your eating habit you have to learn to tune inwards, and listen to what your body wants. If you are used to ignoring your body’s signals, because you are afraid of the intensity of your feelings, or afraid of losing control of amount of food you eat, then a signal in the form of a silent whisper is not enough to be heard. Instead your body learns to scream. It learns that only a craving will bring you to eat, and so craving it is!
If you’re always craving cookie dough ice cream, then maybe what your body needs is sugar and fat? But if you get the inspiration to eat papaya and avocado, most likely you are going to tell yourself to stick to your diet. Papaya and avocado is easy to say no to, so you just ignore it. But then the ice cream craving comes back… and you give in! You got your hit of fat and sugar, and you were able to manifest the reflection of you losing control, you got more evidence for your self perception of being disgusting and lazy, and you got the emotional treat of giving yourself some love through that special (weekly…) treat. The ice cream served to cover your nutritional needs, and ALSO covered your unmet emotional needs. Now would papaya and avocado cover those? Probably not. Which is why it is so important to cover those emotional needs FIRST.
Your nutritional needs cannot be separated from your emotional needs. You are one whole being, and there is no separation within you. Your diet is never going to be exactly the same as anyone else’s. Which is why you need to listen inwards, and start practicing fulfilling your needs by giving in to your cravings. And ask yourself why you crave this. Notice your feelings before, during and after eating. Notice physical sensations. You have to get to learn the language of your body. Only you can interpret it, and only you can change your eating habits and your body. Only you.
Self sabotage to protect yourself
You have dreams and desires. But then there is your body… Your body seems to be the reason you can’t ever get what you want. It’s the reason your life is so miserable, or imperfect. If you only had the perfect body, then life would be so much better. Right?
Your body is a symbol of how YOU feel about YOU. Your body manifests in the shape that is the most beneficial to your expansion and growth, and if you carry around a suitcase of limiting beliefs about not being worthy, then your body will help you become aware of this by showing you what you think is an unworthy body.
If you desire to throw yourself out there and be a life coach and meet a bunch of amazing people, but you are terrified of being rejected because you believe you are not good enough, then your body will manifest a shape to protect you from rejection. What does that look like you might ask? You’re thinking a perfect shape (perfect according to society’s standards) will be the best protection? No, the best protection is to never put yourself in a situation where ANY kind of rejection is possible. To create a body that holds you back from being rejected because you see yourself as so ugly and unlovable that you never take the chance on being rejected at all. You hold yourself back from meeting new people, from the possibility of rejection, due to the way your body looks and feels to you. Your body and it’s shape is protecting you from possible rejection, through being what you label as undesirable. If you believe your body is undesirable you will not risk rejection, and so you are safe.
If you want to explore the world through bungee jumping and rock climbing, but you believe you will never be able to do it because you are afraid of traveling alone, then your body will help you by being what you think is “Too fat to ever survive a bungee jump”. Or “Too fat to try climbing”. You do this to protect yourself from failure. If you believe you can never win, you will never even try, and that also means it is impossible to fail.
If you want to be a personal trainer, but you are afraid you won’t be good enough, or that people won’t like you, your body will help you by being what YOU judge as “Too fat to be a PT”.
You use your body to self sabotage the path to your desires, making it seemingly impossible to accomplish what you want. Not because of you, but because of your body. This way YOU are not the failure, it is not your fault, but the body’s fault. You make your body the cause of your failure and you reinforce your negative feelings towards your body and reinforce your disconnection to your body. If the body is the reason why you can’t live your dreams, then you definitely are not going to be best buddies with your body.
Your body is not the reason you are not living your best life, you are. Your body always follows your command, but the command comes from your pattern of beliefs, not from the words you speak or journal. You cannot hide your thoughts and fears from the body, just like you cannot hide yourself from the world without hurting. When you self sabotage through your eating pattern, whether it be eating too much or too little, you are manifesting into physical action your own resistance to facing your fears. You use your body to protect yourself from going after your dreams, but the only loser in this game is you. Who hurts when you don’t go after what you desire? You.
Self sabotaging through abusing your body creates a physical manifestation of how you don’t respect yourself. You don’t take care of your needs. You don’t listen to your dreams. You don’t take supportive action to make your life better (instead you take action to escape your current emotional reality). You neglect your emotional and physical needs. You neglect your need for expansion and growth. You take action to hold yourself back from manifesting what you truly desire, and you take action to manifest more of what you DON’T want as a way of punishing yourself for not being good enough. Read that again: You take action to punish yourself for not being good enough.
Self sabotage is you creating into physical action the way you feel about yourself. You bring your self perception into physical matter through how you treat your body, and how you then perceive and feel about your body reflects how you feel about yourself. The circle is complete.
Isn’t it about time to break that cycle? What can you implement today, in loving ways and in small changes, to show love to yourself and your body? What action can you take to support yourself and your needs?
- What is it you want from life? What lights you up?
- When was the last time you felt intense joy, or deep excitement and what was the cause of it?
- When was the last time you challenged yourself by doing something new and scary?
- What is it you want, but think you can’t have?
The body connection reward
Discovering yourself through movement
Through your body you take action. Through your body you create. Through your body you feel. Your physical vessel is here to allow you to express yourself in this world, in any and all ways that excite you. That expression of self is why you came here, it is your purpose to be you and express that uniqueness in any way that lights you up. The way that lights you up is your path forward, because the body uses its sensory system to tell you when you are in alignment with your soul intentions. You have the freedom to be who you are, the freedom to use your body as you like, and the freedom to express yourself through that body and explore life through your unique and perfectly equipped body.
Mastering your body is going to allow you to discover more of your innate abilities. Mastering movement, through dance, running, swimming, yoga, or whatever else it is that you choose as your movement, is going to cultivate confidence and trust in yourself. When you try something new, and master that, it builds faith in yourself and in your own ability to navigate your reality. Through moving your body you discover stamina, how far you can reach or stretch, you discover you are able to do much more than you previously thought. This changes your perception of self, IF you take a chance on moving your body in new ways. Discovering or building physical strength allows you to discover your inner strength, and although you may have known this about yourself before, to see your physical strength manifested through action is giving you a different sensory input as evidence of your personal strength.
Your body and the way you use your body is always teaching you about yourself, who you are as a non-physical being, and the abilities you carry with you as your soul signature.
The physical determination it takes to run a marathon not only shows you that you can trust yourself to stand up for yourself in the long run, it also reflects your ability to be patient with yourself and others, you willingness to build results that take time and long time effort. Most of all the daily/weekly practice of any physical effort when it comes to body movement is going to show you how physical change takes time, just like inner and non-physical changes take time. It take practice and repetition to change your beliefs, and it takes practice and repetition to master physical movement or physical strength. Through you being willing to invest in yourself and show up for yourself, you prove to yourself that you are worthy of this investment, and that you can trust yourself to do what it takes for you to create the reality you desire to live.
sen·su·al | \ ˈsen(t)-sh(ə-)wəl , -shəl \
Definition of sensual
1: relating to or consisting in the gratification of the senses or the indulgence of appetite : FLESHLY
Your body is your kingdom of senses. Through your physical senses you explore energy in all nuances, physical sensations creating non-physical sensations, and non-physical sensations creating physical sensations. It is the duality of body and spirit, in perfect oneness and harmony. It is the polarities in union, all working together to give you the ultimate adventure. Your body is a part of that adventure, it is an exploration into your own inner reality, just like your mind and your feelings are. Your body belongs to you, and your sensuality, your senses and the way you experience through your senses, is for YOU.
You have to take ownership of your body, you have to claim it as yours. No one else can feel the cold water hit your skin, or the way the sun warms you. That sensory input is yours only. And there is a world of sensuality ready to be explored, but in order to explore it you have to be within your own skin. You have to be inside of your body to experience the sensations of your physical body engaging with the other physical energies. Sensuality is an exploration of the world outside of you meeting the energy that is your essence. Sensuality is you sensing energy from other people, other beings, the elements and the Earth herself. In order to explore these gifts of the energetic meeting, you must inhabit and take full possession of your body. Sure, you are always connecting to other energies, even when you are disconnected from your body. But you don’t fully explore these energies, which means that you are not able to see the contrast between yourself and the other.
This contrast is what allows you to gain a deeper understanding of yourself. Through perceiving the other you see yourself reflected both in abundance and in lack. You see which parts are also in you, and you see the contrast to that part reflected in the opposite energy in the other. When the wind meets your arm you can feel how you are solid and still, and the wind moves around you. When the cold water hits you, you sense your warmth. When the sun reaches your cheeks, you feel your skin receive that light and you notice the warmth that is created in your body. You notice the other: the sun, and you notice the energy you are receiving: the warmth, and you notice how your skin is now of a different sensation than when you were cold. You engage with the world through your senses, and that interaction teaches you about yourself. When a friend hugs you with their body, you feel yourself soften into their embrace, and you experience your chest filling with a sensation of joy, of love. You feel the physical representation of your ability to love, to give love, and also to receive love through their embrace. You learn that you are a lover, and you learn that you are loved.
Present moment awareness
Sensuality and sexuality is all about YOU. You have to own your body, your sensuality, and your sexuality. It is a part of your physical reality (YOUR physical reality, as it is experienced by YOU. If you engage in physical connections with other, their sensory input is their own, and their sexuality is experienced together with you, but it is still THEIR experience, their body and their sexuality). Anchoring into your body means accepting your sensuality, your sexuality, your sexual needs and your sexual expression. If you already feel comfortable in your sexuality, ask yourself how you can take that body acceptance and that feeling of being safe within your body, safe to explore your sensuality, and bring it into the other parts of your life. There is an openness in exploration of life in general that can be reflected in your sexuality, self expression, and body acceptance.
Sexuality is a creative force, and it MAY be expressed through sex with others, but it is mainly an energy within you for YOUR enjoyment. It is a part of your expression and exploration of your own energy, and of the physical manifestation of your non-physical essence. Your sensuality, your ability to sense within your body, can often be intense during sexual experiences. In those moments you are allowing yourself to dive into your senses, feeling with your whole body, and releasing control of how you should be or act or feel. Through allowing yourself to simply be in the experience, you feel what it is like to be you and your energy, in this temporary physical vessel. Your senses are tuned on and tuned into YOURself, and the physical sensations strengthen the emotional bond and vice versa. Your emotional senses co-create with your physical senses, and all of this happens within your body. This is you being in the center of your own energy, feeling the fireworks that your energy can create (with or without a partner) when you allow yourself to anchor in your vessel, and let go of control.
The reward for anchoring into your body
Moving your body is a way to discover who you are, and it is a way to express your uniqueness. You ARE free to be who you really are, and you ARE free to find your own unique expression of your truth, also in your physical expressions. Think about how you walk. Do you walk shoulders back, with confidence in your stride? Do you move with an open gaze, willingly meeting the eyes of those you meet? Are you relaxed in chest and back, or do you hunch over to protect your heart? When was the last time you skipped across the street out of pure joy? Maybe last time you were in the grocery store, or the last time you took the trash out? Do you stretch your body in the morning, like a cat when first waking up?
How you hold yourself is very much a taught expression based in your desire to fit in. You try to make yourself smaller or try to be like everyone else, in order to feel safe in whatever social group you call your tribe. Your body reveals what you believe about yourself, but it also allows you to re-discover yourself through physical movement.
Changing your posture will help you change your beliefs, because you are taking action through how you carry yourself. That change in posture is going to FEEL different to you, because it is a physical manifestation of the new belief that you are wanting to adopt. Aligning your body with the new belief makes it easier for you to believe in it as your truth.
The body is here for you to see the physical expression of who you are, so how are you using the body to express yourself? Your body holds your past in it’s energy. You store memories, pain and pleasure, dreams and hopes in your body. Moving your body will move the energy in these stored memories, and is going to help you uncover these forgotten or suppressed parts. Moving your body helps you process because it brings your attention to the physical parts that can unlock your own inner knowing. There is an intuitive connection between the body parts that hold your memories, and your inner remembering of that pain. This means that when you trigger the physical wound you also open up a channel for information to flow to you in order to understand the pain and how to heal it. You carry the tools for healing with you, because the healing happens as you see yourself in your naked and honest form, as you see your wounds and your fears, and then accept it all. Through your acceptance of your original wound, of the pain that you have hidden and carried, of the one who has lived these experiences, and of who you are today, you start the healing. All it takes is love. Seeing, accepting and loving yourself.
Your body holds you, and heals you, if you dare to see and accept yourself as you are. If you can stop fighting your body, stop disconnecting from your body, and instead embrace your body, the healing can begin. The body is YOU. You either accept yourself, or you don’t. You either love yourself unconditionally, or you don’t. And that includes your physical manifestation of pure love: your physical body.
- What is your current body telling you about yourself?
- Consider the body shape you desire to have: what does that shape say about you, what traits would that version of you have?
- What are the ways you show up for yourself and nourish yourself apart from food?
- How often do you use your body to comfort of please others, and how often do you use it to comfort and please yourself? (and how quickly did you interpret this to be about sex?)
Private calls are my favorite tool for transformation! These containers allow us to go to the depths, to uncover layers upon layers of gold within the client. I love these calls for their intimacy and the connection that grows from these spaces.
If you are interested in setting up a private call with me, please use link to schedule a time that works for us both. Calls are on Zoom, 60 mins, and the recording will be sent to you after the call.