Your current perception of self is influenced by duality, by labeling some parts as wanted and others as unwanted. As you cange your judgment of the unwanted traits and start to utilize the potential in yourself, you are moving from fear to love. You start to actualize the potential in your own energy, expanding into more of who you are. In the higher state of being you accept all parts of yourself, which allows you to tap into more of your own power, as you are aligning to more of your own energy. If you want to be more powerful, you have to accept more of who you are.
Self love is closely tied into being authentic. If you do not love and accept yourself, you will not be authentic. You will believe that the authentic you is wrong and bad, and you will withhold love from yourself and try to be the ideal person, the inauthentic version of you that keeps trying to get love from the outside. When you are unwilling to love yourself, to receive your own love from within, you are forced to seek love outside of yourself. This turns into a never ending cycle where you constantly change your behavior in the attempt to gain outside approval, the outside approval never sustains or satisfies you, and so you try even harder to deny your true self and be someone you are not. The outside love you seek out because you refuse to give love to yourself, can never satisfy you because the love you seek is your own, and that love cannot be found outside of you. It’s like trying to quench your thirst with salt water. You drink and drink but it never helps, only makes you more and more thirsty.
You need to find the love within you, the love that is unconditional. The love that is your essence, it is who you are. This love within you, is the love that will be reflected in your outside conditions. Giving to yourself, and receiving your own love, then translates to outside conditions that give to you what you desire. Because you feel worthy of receiving that unconditional love from within, you also feel worthy of receiving the outside manifestation of that love, however that shows up.
To love yourself unconditionally means to love without conditions. No strings attached.
That means that you have to love the parts of you that you now perceive as wrong or bad, and you have to allow your “good” traits to disappear or change, and still love yourself. You are not worthy of love because of the collection of traits you carry within you, your personality or your body. You are worthy of love because you exist. That is enough. You are enough. As you raise your vibration and let go of fear, the fear parts of who you thought you were will fall away. Characteristics of the one you were, definitions that made you feel safe and gave you an identity, will change and disappear. Your true self will manifest, one step at a time. You can make this change easier, and less fearful, by letting go of these labels, by loving yourself not because of what you can do or how kind you are, but just because you exist. When you love yourself unconditionally, the transformation from inauthentic to authentic self, is much easier. You are not as attached to the inauthentic parts of yourself, because your love is not attached to any specific trait or characteristic, but an unconditional love for the Being that is in existence as You. When you love unconditionally, you allow yourself to change into more of the truth of who you are, and you authentic self can emerge without the resistance from your fear of losing your place in the hierarchy. Unconditional love needs no hierarchy, because you are loved no matter what.