1. How your beliefs shape your reality

1.1 Becoming aware

The process of changing your beliefs can be easy, or it can be more on the difficult side. If the belief is fairly new, meaning you don’t have a large amount of empirical evidence to prove it is true, then your belief system will be malleable and open to change. If it is a belief you have carried since childhood, and you have years or decades of experiences “proving” this to be true, then it might take a bit more time and inner work to change it.

The first part of the process is identifying that you have a negative emotion. Negative emotions are signals, sign posts that guide you to the existence of a limiting belief. The negative emotion is telling you that you have one or several beliefs that are limiting your expression of life and your experience of life. This belief is not helpful in your exploration, and it is not aligned with your expression of love. In other words: it is creating pain in your reality, it is holding you back from the things you desire.

The awareness of a negative emotion is the first step to changing your life, and it is a signal that many receive every day. The fact is, you are so used to these signals that many of you don’t even register when it is happening. You simply accept it as a natural part of life, and you get so used to it that you tune it out, or take it to be a normal part of your emotional chart. Emotional pain and negative feelings become a part of your everyday life, and your average vibration is one of suffering. You get so used to the negative emotions that you start to tune them out, accepting them as the constant background noise, without ever trying to remove the noise or turn it down.

In addition to this, society frowns upon the expression of fear, the expression of negative emotions. You are not supposed to burden others with your fear, with your anger, with your bad moods, and if you do feel bad, then you are both misbehaving and you are weak and wrong for even feeling it. Feeling negative emotions becomes shameful and proof of you not being good enough, and even more so in spiritual circles where happiness is told to be the “right” state of existence. You “should” be happy, or you are not spiritual, you are not advanced enough, or you are simply a failure for not living by the so-called LOA principles. Once again this leads to more denial of your negative feelings, making you deaf to the inner voice that is constantly trying to guide you to the manifestation of your desires. You tune out the negative emotions, because you believe they are wrong and even worse they make you wrong. You tune out the negative feelings because they “should” not be there, you should not feel them. The result is that you bury your pain, creating even more limiting beliefs, you teach yourself to not listen to your own guiding system, and you create energy that traps itself within your energy-system.

2. Energy in motion

2.1 The information in the feeling

Energy wants to move, that is its natural state of being. You are energy, constantly moving and expanding, constantly allowing in new energy and letting go of old energy. You allow in new thoughts (energy in) and speak words (energy out). You breathe in, and you breathe out. You create desires, and receive the manifestations of those desires. Feelings come to you, and in the ideal world you feel them, and then let them go, allowing them to float through you.

Like all energy, feelings circulate in the great energy of All That Is, and you are simply one part of that great energy. Feelings want to enter you, and then leave again. They were never meant to stay within your field of energy. When you resist something, you attach yourself to it, you cling to it, and you hold on to it. When a negative feeling comes into you field of energy, and you don’t express it and feel it, you resist it. You judge it as wrong, and you judge yourself as wrong for feeling it. This means that the energy has to stay, it gets attached to you. By you denying the feeling, refusing to feel it, you are not letting the negative emotion do its job, which is to signal to you that you have a belief that is limiting you.

The energy cannot move on, because it doesn’t get to do its job. You refuse to recognize and acknowledge it, and so the energy stays within you for as long as necessary to get you to feel it. The energy collects in your body, both physically and energetically. The energetic part of it means that every time you experience a triggering of the limiting belief that this is connected to, you re-awaken this same energy. After a while the energy adds up, and you pick at a bigger and bigger wound each time you get triggered. Your vibration is influenced by these feelings that are left unnoticed, and your vibration keeps attracting more of the same energy in order to create more manifestation events to help you become aware of the limiting beliefs, and to help you change the same beliefs. The system is designed to help you, and if you refuse help, the energy will pile up within you, until at some point you explode.

Sitting with the feeling, experiencing it, can be an intense situation. It can be e very physical expression, such as tears, your body wanting to move, to scream. It can be rather a violent expression, especially if you have held these feelings buried within for a long time. Or, if you have been denying these emotions it can be only a subtle reaction, a quiet and insecure whisper of an emotion, wanting to come out but not being sure if it is welcome. Take your time, allow yourself to react in any way and every way that shows up, and don’t judge the reaction as bad or good, right or wrong, too much or too little. Any reaction is normal and appropriate, and everyone will react in their own unique ways.

When you get triggered, when you experience a negative emotion, it is a sign that is there to help you! So, what do you do? First of all, allow the feeling! The feeling is not a punishment, it is not proof that you are bad or weak, it is proof that your system is working. It is proof that your designed reality that is pure love, is trying to help you become who you want to be, and live the life you desire to experience. Negative emotions are signs that you could feel better, live better, experience better. It is a sign that you have more positive potential! Feel the emotion that comes up. Allow it to deliver its message. Through feeling it, you can become aware of the intensity of it.

Is it a very negative feeling, or only a slightly negative feeling? Does it feel like you want to kill yourself, or just a bit annoying? If you are used to ignoring and pushing away your feelings, then this sensing could take some practice. If you are used to denying or shutting away your negative feelings, then feeling them now is going to add more negative feelings of shame for even allowing yourself to have these feelings. Accept that, and practice it. You need to get comfortable with the discomfort of having negative emotions, and you need to learn to not judge yourself for the way you feel. Remember, it is a signal, not a judgment! Excavate the nuances of the feeling, and allow yourself to feel it in your body. Simply get used to not trying to push it away, or not resisting that it is there.

Once you are more comfortable, or at least accepting of the fact that the emotion is there, you can start figuring out WHY the feeling is there.

In every situation where you feel a negative emotion, it is because you perceive there to be some judgment of YOU. You judge yourself, or you believe others judge you. It always comes back to your perception of YOU, your perception of self. In most cases there will be several limiting beliefs that gets triggered, and several beliefs that you can process and change. But just start in one end, it doesn’t matter if it is the right one or not, as long as you start somewhere.

Write it down if you feel this is helpful. Just be aware of not falling into the trap of the “Good student”. You won’t change the belief just by writing. This cannot be fixed purely by the intellect. Yes, use your mind and your intellect to understand WHY you feel this way, explaining to yourself what you feel and why you feel this way. Be aware that this is not always logic, feelings are not bound by logic, they appear even without needing to prove their logic to you.

You can have contrasting and conflicting beliefs, even if that doesn’t make sense to the logical mind. For instance you might believe you are too loud and too much, and yet you also believe you are too boring. Or you might believe you are too ugly, and yet you also fear looking too cute in case it makes others feel bad or dislike you because you look too good. Your feelings are beyond logic, and your beliefs are both created by feelings and by logical thinking. You cannot change your beliefs without involving both. Just because you write 5 pages about your limiting belief, doesn’t mean you have change it. You need to feel it too, and you will need empirical evidence, actual life experience to change the old beliefs and solidify the new. Writing is a tool to clear your mind, it is not a game-changer in itself, and you cannot change a belief without actually feeling the feelings that are energetically tied into these beliefs.

3. Changing your beliefs

3.1 The process of inner change

Once you are aware that you have beliefs that limit you, once you know why you feel this way, and you know logically that these beliefs are not true, you can start the process of emotionally detaching from your old beliefs. Your old beliefs may not be beneficial to you, but because you have carried them with you for so long, you feel safe with them. They make life seem more controlled, because even though they make you feel bad, at least you are familiar with how the world looks through this filtered belief. Your perception of yourself and your reality might cause you pain, but at least it is a pain you know!

Now that you are trying to change this perception through changing your beliefs, your fear will react and roar its ugly head. The part of you that believes in the old and limiting beliefs, will want to keep those beliefs, because they make you feel safe. Changing your beliefs bring up fear, because YOU are changing, and the world around you changes. You are creating change in an already unsafe world (experienced as unsafe) and so any change is perceived to be a threat. That is OK! It is a process, and you will learn to repeat this process over and over, as you change more and more limiting beliefs. Accept that it is difficult, accept that it takes time and practice, and just keep at it. And please, let go of the self-judgment for not being able to change a decade of beliefs in 2 hours!

As you sit with the emotions and figure out what it is you are feeling, and WHY you feel this way, you will reach a point where you feel some sort of relief. It might be huge or it could be a tiny amount, all depending on how deep the wound goes. Long held beliefs take more than an hour to change, and so the big feeling of relief might not happen. But there will be a lighter feeling once you hit the spot, once you find the core to this level of your belief. Keep in mind that as your vibration rises, you will get to attack the same beliefs over and over again, from different perspectives, so you will probably see this belief again in a different shape. When you feel a lightning of the load, or a sense of relief, enjoy that feeling!

Allow it to fill you, and let the tension leave your body. The energy is now moving, and the relief is the sense of the movement of the negative energy exiting your field of energy. It is the feeling and the sense of energy flowing, of energy once again circulating through you. The negative energy can leave as it has filled its purpose, and the feeling and energy of relief/peace/joy comes to take its place. Energy is once again moving, and you feel better.


1. Awareness: be aware of what you are feeling. If/when you feel a negative emotion, dive into it with curiosity.

2. Curiosity and analysis: why do you feel this way? What is the limiting belief(s) that causes this feeling?

3. Still feeling: as you feel the negative emotion, feel for what creates a different nuance. If it suddenly hurts more, you have found the limiting belief. Circle around until you sense a spike in your feeling, and allow yourself to truly feel it without trying to make it go away. Accept that you feel this.

4. Know that you feel bad because the belief is incorrect, it is an illusion: explain to yourself WHY this is not true. This step is a bridge to your beneficial beliefs. In explaining why these illusions are not true, you will list beneficial beliefs to counter your negative and limiting ones.

5. Focus on the beneficial beliefs: feel the relief in knowing your beneficial beliefs are true, and the limiting ones are simply illusions. If you do not feel relief, you just need more time and practice before you really believe that the limiting beliefs are not true. You might need more arguments to persuade yourself, or you might need more empirical evidence, or you just need more time to allow the feeling to leave the body. If you are working on a deep set belief, you need to allow some time before the feeling is fully processed. It took you decades to adopt and nourish these beliefs, which means there is a lot of energy stored within you to process. This could take hours or it could take days.

3. 3 Give it time!

Again: remember that this is a process. Life will give you several opportunities to practice your new beliefs, allowing you situations where you get to choose to hang on to your old limiting beliefs or to choose your new empowering ones. Sometimes you fall into the old way of thinking, and you just need to repeat the process. This is not failure, this is practice. You need to practice thinking in the new way, to actually believe the new beliefs. An important part of this is to be present enough in the moment to feel those new beliefs. The mind is an excellent partner, and can help you logically understand the reasons why the new beliefs are true. But you need to feel these new beliefs in order to truly cement the new knowledge, in order to actually change your vibration.

Example: To learn that you are worthy, when you feel unworthy, is not enough to change your vibration. To read it in a book does not mean that you have instantly changed your belief, it just means you have received a new thought, a new possibility for a belief. You need to tell yourself that you truly are worthy, and feel what that means to you.

Feel for the feeling of love, of being good enough, of accepting yourself. And if you don’t know what that feels like, find a feeling similar, as close as you can. Maybe you know what it feels like to love a pet, so feel that, and think about how you are just as valuable and worthy of love as the cat. Go over your reasons for why you are unworthy, tell yourself again, in detail, why that is not true. Go over your reasons for why you are worthy, and feel within you for how that feels. Does it feel true or like a lie? Does it feel fake? If so, go easy on yourself, and find a less positive belief. Use incrementally more and more positive statements to climb your way up.

Create beliefs that are believable, even if they are slightly negative. If you can’t believe that you are good enough, can you at least believe you are not horrible? Then maybe believe you are no worse than most people? Climb your way up, step by step, even if one step takes you months. And always take time to sense within yourself how you feel. Do the new beliefs feel true, or do you still doubt? Address the doubt, don’t just pretend to gloss over it. If you don’t feel it and address it, you cannot change it. You cannot change what you will not acknowledge as yours.

4. Creating new beneficial beliefs

4.1 Your way up on the vibrational ladder

You have now reduced one or several limiting beliefs, and you feel better. You feel the relief of getting rid of the emotional pain of the limiting belief, and you feel a reduction in fear. Now what?

Now you create new, empowering beliefs, to fill the gap of what you left, to help you feel better about yourself, and perceiving your reality in a more positive light and from a higher perspective. Why do you need to create a new belief, you might wonder. Why not just leave it as it is? You can of course leave it as it is. But when you leave a void, energy is attracted to fill that gap. And you as the addict, the one addicted to your old negative belief, will seek to fill it with similar energy, another limiting belief. That is your option of course, but it makes the recovery and the healing process much slower.

The better way is to create new and empowering beliefs, to replace the negative ones, so that you can use these beliefs to pull yourself up on the vibrational ladder. You are creating a supportive network for yourself, a guide for you to help you with your further healing and expansion. The more secure you are in your beneficial beliefs, the more positively you will affect the other connected limiting beliefs. The topic you have just cleared is now cleared at this, current, level, but you still have many other limiting beliefs connected to this one. What we suggest is that you create powerful beneficial beliefs on this specific topic, and this new belief will then influence the other limiting beliefs you have, allowing for the higher perspective to change also those beliefs over time.

Once again, use the ladder to create beneficial beliefs that feel true to you. State the new beliefs for yourself, and feel for resistance to these sentences. For instance “I am worthy”. Probably a meaningless sentence, isn’t it? It is a wonderful idea, but very diffuse and fleeting to most people.

“I am good enough, just as I am”.

“I am just as good as everyone else.”

“I have the same right to express myself as everyone else”.

“I can accept that even when I make mistakes, I am still good enough”.

These sentences still include the illusion that you can make mistakes. This is because most humans still believe very strongly in the idea of making mistakes. In order to create a belief that allows you to feel good enough, that helps you to accept yourself, you need to make it into a belief that is, well, believable. If you say “I am just as good as all the angels and God” that might feel like a stretch if you still see yourself as too loud or too much. But to tell yourself that everyone is too loud sometimes, will feel more like truth. And in this way you trick yourself into accepting yourself, building new beliefs that make you feel better about being who you are right now, rather than just demanding that you be perfect before you can accept yourself.

Aiming for perfection is not necessarily the best way to go for someone who feels unworthy, because the leap is too big. But understanding that perfection is a moving target, and uniquely perceived, is a very good start to accepting yourself. The important thing is that you move in the direction of a beneficial belief, and still making the steps small enough that they feel true. It doesn’t matter that you understand it intellectually, if the feeling is not also there. The head can understand, but if you still feel unworthy in your heart, the head can scream and still not be heard. The feeling will always be heard more loudly and clearly, over any reasoning or logic from the head. If you feel bad, it doesn’t matter that a book tells you that you are good.

The feeling part of you never lies, it will always reveal your true beliefs.

The beneficial beliefs help remind you that the limiting beliefs are false and illusions. They allow for your logical mind to have key points to link your identity to. They give you a feeling of security, as you now have reasons to WHY you don’t need to limit yourself.

4.3 Practice & Questions

* Are you in the habit of creating new beneficial beliefs once you have changed a limiting one?

Using your 3 topics:

* Create a couple of believable new and more neutral beliefs (bridge beliefs to take you from limiting to beneficial)
* How do you feel using these beliefs? Does it feel true or fake? Are you still arguing for the limiting belief?
* Is your head still believing in the old belief? What about your gut?
* What would be your “goal” belief on these topics?
* Where do you want to reside, what belief do you want to experience in your outside reality?
* Why do you want this? What feeling would this belief give you?

5. Repetition

5.1 Recurring manifestations

If you think you have changed your beliefs, but the same manifestation event keeps coming back and triggering the same negative feelings, then you clearly haven’t changed your beliefs. It doesn’t matter how much you have journaled or how adamantly you insist on your change, if the manifestations still trigger you, you still hold on to that limiting belief. OR you have similar limiting beliefs that affect that same fear, and you need to change those before you can fully let go of your fear. Every belief is tied into and connected to many others, and as soon as you start changing one belief, the Universe will guide you to the next one.

Try to not be discouraged by this, and understand that it is a continuous process, and every feeling needs to be recognized and owned before you can heal. If you ignore the feeling, telling yourself you should not feel this, and that you have already dealt with this, then the manifestation will just come back even stronger, because this is how the Universe works. Everything is designed to help move you closer to love, and to let go of fear, and denying your pain never works.

Awareness is key in the healing process, and accepting the way you feel is absolutely necessary.

If you cannot accept the way you feel, you will never fully accept yourself, the one who feels. Shaming your feelings means you also feel shame for feeling them, which is another limiting beliefs, and this is a sure way to create more emotional pain.

When you create new beneficial beliefs, beliefs that are within the vibrational range of something you can feel is true, you will manifest new opportunities to practice these beliefs. These manifestation events will poke the old wound, and allow for you to enforce the new belief. Do this enough, and you can create even more empowering beliefs, building on the foundation you have created from accepting that you had limiting beliefs, and then letting go of those and replacing them with neutral or slightly positive beliefs.

It is a process, and it needs repetition in order for you to fully buy into the new beliefs. It needs repetition and feelings, because the new feelings are powerful energies creating new energetic imprints within the energy that is you. You are literally letting go of fear and replacing that with love, different nuances of love depending on how positive your new beliefs are. This is not only an intellectual process, working with your beliefs, but an actual energetic process where you let go of fear (often described as darkness) and allow in more love (described as light). This change creates a new vibration, and the new vibration is a new energy composition, it is new beliefs, new feelings, new perceptions of yourself and your reality. The new vibration will attract a different and new mix of manifestations in your outer reality, as the outer reality is a constant result of your vibration.

When you no longer hold the same fear, because you have let go of one or several limiting beliefs, you will not be triggered by those events that once triggered you. They may still occur from now and then, because of the remnants in your vibration, but when you are no longer attached to them energetically, they will at some point just fade away. When you react with an emotion to something, this is an energetic attachment, an energetic bond to the manifestation. It is like a string of energy from within you, that reaches out to the outside reality and attracts an emotional match. Meaning: a match that will create that specific emotion in YOU.

The emotional reaction can be different to everyone, so your manifestations will be uniquely tailored to provoke you. But when you let go of the limiting belief that triggered this specific fear, you also detach energetically. There is no longer an energetic bond between that feeling in you and that event, because it doesn’t trigger fear in you anymore. There is no longer a match in vibration because it doesn’t trigger that feeling within you. The energetic bond is dissolved by your emotional detachment, and there is no vibration to hold it in your reality.

Creating a new beneficial belief is not only going to make you feel better, it is also going to attract its match in your outside reality. You now have a clean slate where the detachment to the negative manifestation allows that to flow out of your reality, and then your beneficial belief is going to be the energetic cord that now attracts its match into your reality. You are attracting a manifestation that is a match to the energetic feeling of your new belief, creating and attracting more things that match the good feelings of the new belief. Your appreciation of these new and positive manifestations, is the bond, the attachment that keeps these manifestations in your reality.

Once you feel better, you create a better feeling reality, and your reality makes you feel even better. You raise your vibration, and this helps you to notice more clearly the next negative emotion, the signal that YOU are sending to yourself, so that you can let go of more illusions that limit you, and move closer to the life you desire. Everything in this game is created to help you move towards the wanted, towards joy, towards love. Everything is created for you, for you to live in love, to be the love that you are, and to know yourself as love. The energy of Source, of Love, wants only the best for you, and YOU can create that, if you are willing to do the inner work. Willing or not, the Universe is intent on helping you expand.

Every time life gives you an opportunity to practice or change your beliefs, take it and then just do your best. Don’t judge your performance. Take note of it yes, analyze it, but try to not judge yourself as wrong or bad or a failure for not yet having changed your belief. It takes time. It takes practice. And don’t compare yourself to others. You cannot know how deeply their beliefs are buried, how much they have practiced these beliefs, and even if they tell you that they have changed, you cannot know if that is true. They could have changed, they could be fooling themselves and denying the feelings, or they could struggle and be embarrassed you know about their struggles. It doesn’t matter what others do or how they change, only YOU matter in this. Practice your new beliefs, notice if you still believe in the old ones, and just repeat your process, over and over until the new ones stick, and the old beliefs are reduced.

As you change your beliefs, your outside reality will change too, in order to reflect your inner changes. But be aware that what feels like a huge shift within you, may not create a massive shift outside, right in an instance. The physical reality is always the last to change, and due to the illusion of time continuity, you only allow yourself to change as much as you believe it is possible or likely to change. See, once again your beliefs are tied into other beliefs, one affecting the other. Accept that the outer reality might lag behind, and that the enormous inner change you just felt, is reflected in a slightly wider smile or one more nice compliment from a friend, rather than suddenly winning the lottery and being Miss Universe all in one day.

The changes that you make within, will affect your future in so many more ways than you can imagine from where you are today. It will change, but you cannot predict those changes from where you are today, so just allow life to show you, incrementally, you have changed. And understand that many beliefs work together, so you might need to change more than just one, in order to get the result you desire. It is an ever ongoing process, and it can only be mastered through practice. The more you practice the process of changing your beliefs, the easier it gets and the better you get at it.

Change your beliefs, change your reality from within, and create the life beyond your wildest dreams. But you cannot cheat the Universe, you cannot cheat your soul. Pretending to believe is very different from actually changing your beliefs. And theoretical knowledge is very different from feeling and truly knowing. Be honest with yourself, and make real changes. You are worth it.


Private calls are my favorite tool for transformation! These containers allow us to go to the depths, to uncover layers upon layers of gold within the client. I love these calls for their intimacy and the connection that grows from these spaces. 

If you are interested in setting up a private call with me, please use link to schedule a time that works for us both. Calls are on Zoom, 60 mins, and the recording will be sent to you after the call. 


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